Monday, September 5, 2011

Le Sag & Le Family

Le Sag.

I am a little confused. I am 29 years old, not 89 years old. I don't have any children, yet my body is changing. Le sag. I need to understand why my boobs are closer in proximity to my belly button than my neck. Seriously. It's almost laughable. Does that mean that when I'm 50 years old and maybe have kids that they will be at my belly button, or will that fall too? Also, I'm fairly certain this sagging business doesn't happen to guys. Mac doesn't ever seem to have puffy eyes or bags under his eyes, and if he gains weight, it doesn't sag. Wtf. The only explanation I can think of is that I don't like wearing a bra, but I wear one because I'm not a hippie and it seems appropriate for our society. Plus, hello, I can't let everyone in the grocery store know that my chest is falling. Maybe all those times in college that I didn't wear a bra are coming back to bite me in the buttox. (Which by the way, if THAT falls, it will be a catastrophe.) At Elon, my roommates and I used to go get breakfast at the dining hall, and they would all yell at me for just wearing a tshirt sans bra, and I'd be like "whatever, I don't like it, and it's the weekend." Maybe their chests are still closer to their necks. If I lose weight, will I sag less? Or is there just less to sag?

Le Family.

Oh. My. God. Family. The amount of emotional eating I have blamed on family in the past couple days is disgusting. I'm hoping that as Mac and I grow old together we can keep our issues to ourselves and put on a good show in public. I mean, that's all I'm asking. Put on a GOOD show when it matters.

Back track: Since being in school the journal has been neglected. I have still been packing my lunch for the most part, but the eating this week was not great at home. I think we ate out a couple times and we had a wedding. A family wedding, so drinking was a must. In addition to not being on my best behavior, my throat has been incredibly sore, and this makes me not want to go to the gym. I just can't imagine working out when it's hard to swallow and I have lots of sinus pressure too. I'm taking medicine, so hopefully it will get better. I despise sore throats.

Now to this weekend: There was a family wedding. Kacey, Mac's cousin and one of my sorority sisters from college, got married to Keith. They looked so beautiful and happy and it was a very celebratory day. They are each wonderful people and make a really good couple. They also traveled down to our wedding last year from KY, and we really appreciated that. Kacey was also one of the readers in our wedding. Their ceremony was touching and short, and the vibe was simple: happy. The reception was also touching, with good music and sweet toasts.

When people ask me about the wedding, the above paragraph will be my answer. But here, it's a blog and I'm in the mood to vent a little bit. Plus, I need to provide excuses for the food and drinks I've consumed this weekend. Try to keep up.

I'm convinced all families have issues. I'm also convinced that all families have issues that go back further into older generations. Believe me when I say that the "kids" at the wedding were the best behaved. I saw no 20 or 30 year olds misbehaving. That's right. It's the older ones. Which means I'm in trouble. Because I can get kind of snarky now... what will happen in 20 years? Seriously, the 20 and 30 year olds are NOT perfect. But, we put on a damn good show.

(Cousins: Jamie and Lindsay Platky, Keith and Kacey Warren, Mac & me)

It was the older generations. The 50 and 60 year olds. Oh my gosh. What is with the stubborn attitudes? What is with the inability to forgive? (Actually I have a hard time with grudges too, so I should direct that question to myself.) Or be the bigger person? Are they just tired of "putting on a show" because they did it for so long and just don't care anymore? Oh, and one important factor. All the family members at this wedding are from Mac's side. That's right. In-laws.

I feel like I'm going to hit challenges with in-laws. Dave isn't my dad, so can I talk to him the way I would talk to my dad? Mary Jane isn't my mom, but am I allowed to say things to her that I would say to my mom? Or is that all Mac's job? If my parents do something that Mac doesn't like, is he allowed to talk to them about it? How does it work with in-laws? What about siblings? Can I tell my brother-in-law my opinions, or can Mac and Ashley hash it out? (That would be hysterical by the way.)

I figured better safe than sorry with all the in-law stuff, and so I kept quiet. Hello, it's a wedding, and it's about the bride and groom and nothing else. When someone made a snarky comment at the wedding, I just let it go, because it's not the time or the place. Instead, I got another beer and then ate crap the rest of the weekend, trying to make sense of nonsense. Maybe Mac and I will invite everyone over around the holidays and get into it at the dinner table. That's what happens in everyone's family, right? But then, one more question... if someone "misbehaves" at our place, are we allowed to kick them out? One on hand, respect your elders. On the other hand, if someone is mean to Mac or me, or someone we love, shouldn't we stand up for that person? Uch, I'm so confused. Maybe I'll just mash up Xanax in everyone's mashed potatoes and we'll all be chill as hell.

Now I'm just waiting for my throat to feel better and my ankles to feel better (Heels can be worth it, I swear. Especially Nine West nude patent leather heels.). Then I will be able to hit the gym and hopefully work out any frustrations on elliptical machines instead of consuming foods and beverages in an unhealthy manner.

Cheers everyone. Cheers to family. I don't know which is more ridiculous. Le family or le sag.

By the way... for now, I am still at my lowest weight. Haven't lost, but haven't gained either.

Thursday, August 25, 2011

Can't work out to "Silent Night"

Or The Grinch, 12 Days of Christmas, Blue Christmas, or almost any other Christmas song. But they're on my ipod, and I can't change songs. Imagine going at a good pace on the elliptical, and then hearing sleigh bells jingle. Please.

A couple years ago one of my best friends Anna sold me her ipod for really cheap, bc she didn't use it and has an Iphone. A year and a half ago, while at PB, we had a theft problem during the holiday season. Someone (not an employee) hit a couple stores in the mall, going into back rooms and rummaging through purses and whatnot. Unfortunately, my ipod was stolen. Fortunately, that was the ONLY thing. My license, debit/credit cards were all there. I kept an eye on them and I have even changed account numbers since, but really, I was pretty lucky. I chucked the purse and the wallet (bc it's weird to think some stranger's hands were in them) and a for Valentine's Day that year, Mac gave me an Ipod shuffle. It's awesome, and about the size of a key, if that. It came with headphones equipped with a button to skip to the next song, but I didn't think they were comfortable, and I think I threw them out. Now I have my comfy headphones, but can't switch songs, and why did I put Christmas songs on my Ipod anyway? I only use the Ipod on the beach and in the gym. I LOVE Christmas music, but Go Tell it on the Mountain doesn't need to play while I'm pumping iron. (Let's be clear; I don't really pump iron.)

Despite having Christmas songs playing in and out of my workouts, I've been pretty good lately at the gym. In the past five days, I've gone to work out four of them, and my legs are sore. The only negative thing I have to say is that my journaling has taken a tumble. With school starting, it's hard to keep up with what I'm eating, although I'm not doing badly. I just forget to write it down, and then at night I'm so tired, so I tell myself "I'll write it tomorrow." I'm really big on tomorrows. So this entry is going to be a little shaky in terms of accuracy.

Friday, August 19, 2011

Weight: 212 lbs.
  • yogurt with granola
  • ritz crackerful
  • salami and cheese sandwich on rye bread
  • snackwell popcorn
  • diet coke
  • head to amazing Korean bar in DC with private karaoke rooms w/Mac & his coworkers)
  • edamame
  • white rice with soy sauce
  • bad romance cocktail (just tasty)
  • 4 1/2 miller lites
  • diet coke
  • jump slice pepperoni pizza
  • 1 piece Godiva chocolate
  • 1/2 regular pepsi
Clearly, a treat night.

Saturday, August 20, 2011

Weight: 209 lbs.
  • yogurt with granola
  • 1/2 hr on elliptical machine: 350 calories
  • turkey, lettuce and cheese sandwich
  • torilla chips
  • 1/2 brownie (celebrating my father in law's and my bdays a little late)
  • cake
  • diet pepsi
  • diet coke
  • mac and cheese
  • cake
Sunday, August 21, 2011
Weight: 212 lbs.
  • yogurt with granola
  • 1/2 hour on elliptical machine: 300 calories
  • diet coke
  • mini macadamia nut cookie (about 1.5 inches)
  • goldfish
  • fruit snacks (80 calories, target brand)
  • 4 slices of mini pizza
  • edamame
  • diet coke
  • 1 piece Godiva chocolate
Monday, August 22, 2011 - FIRST DAY OF SCHOOL!
Weight: 212 lbs.
  • ritz crackerful
  • diet coke
  • salami and cheese sandwich at 10:30 AM (my break on Mondays)
  • snackwell popcorn
  • fruit snacks
  • banana
  • 2 mini cookies from Mrs. Fields, bc after school, I worked at PB from 6-10.
  • All I remember about this day is I was exhausted and STARVING bc of how early I ate lunch.
Tuesday, August 23, 2011
Weight: 210 lbs.
  • Goldfish
  • diet coke
  • turkey and cheese sandwich
  • diet coke
  • fruit snacks
  • earthquake
  • evaquate school after dismissal
  • hoping for no more shakes and head to the gym: 33 mins on elliptical, 350 calories, 20 lunges with 5 lb. weights in each hand/36 curl ups with weights in each hand/ 36 calf exercises/24 arm lifts w/ weights (where you have arms at sides, and raise them up, perpendicular to your body so you make a "T.")
  • 6 parmesan garlic wings
  • celery with ranch
  • animal crackers
  • few chocolate fudge cookies
Wednesday, August 24, 2011 - No school, there was an earthquake yesterday
Weight: 210 lbs.
  • granola with yogurt
  • gym, same exercises as Tuesday, legs are SORE; that means it's working?
  • 6 leftover parmesan garlic wings
  • animal crackers
  • gold fish
  • carrots
  • mac and cheese
  • cheese hot dog (1 cut up, and 1 in bun, and that is 1, or 2, too many)
  • plain green beans
  • last bit of cake
Ok, clearly keeping this up with any sort of accuracy during the school days is going to be challenging. I feel like I've been planning my meals, but I realize several things, as usual. Not enough fruit, definitely not enough veggies. Those two need to replace some of the other snacks that can be easier to prepare. I just need to commit to prepping stuff at night so I don't have to think about it in the morning. If I don't pack my lunch at night, I won't bring lunch to school. I just never give myself enough time in the morning.

I guess it's cool that I realize the areas where I need to improve. The challenge with be actually following through with what I need to do. I'm not at a point in my weight where I should plateau, so the scale should continue to go down if I behave. Behave, Megan. And also, ask Mac to take Christmas songs off of the ipod. This is getting ridiculous.

Thursday, August 18, 2011

Success, then fail.

I was on vacation for pretty much the first half of August.  (Really lucky.)  I was in Murrells Inlet, SC for almost a week at my parents, then home in MD for two days, then back to the beach for another week- Ocean Isle Beach, NC.  I already wrote about my experience in SC, so let me detail what happened in NC.
To shed some light on the Ocean Isle trip, it is Mac, me, and some of our best friends from college along with their significant others.  We live in a beach house for a week and try to pretend we're all 21 again.  We've been going for 8 years now, and it is always my best and worst week of eating of the entire year.  Everyone cooks a good meal one night (per person or couple) and then we usually have 1 or 2 nights out.  The food is amazing, but try having Thanksgiving on Monday, Christmas on Tuesday, and repeat for the rest of the week.  You're FULL.  But the food is so good, so you stuff yourself and save the fat pants for the end of the week.  I will say that's a nice thing about bathing suits.  It may not look great, especially by Friday, but elastic is nice.  No judgments among the group either.  At least not about size.  I didn't bring my scale, or my journal, but I can pretty much scramble things together...

OIB 2011 - drive to Elon, meet amazing best friends, eat at Wings to Go, honey bbq wings, fried chips with ranch and corn nuggets, beer, Cook out shake on the way home, good homecooked breakfast the next morning by Kristin's family, white chedder cheetos on the way to the beach...
  • Sunday night - pizza, garlic knots and lots of beer
  • Monday - 1 mile walk on the beach
  • Monday night - stuffed peppers, bread, White Russians/beer
  • Tuesday - 1 mile walk on the beach
  • Tuesday night - jambalaya, corn bread, corn, green beans, white russians/beer
  • Wednesday - 4 mile walk on the beach BOOYA.
  • Wednesday night - dinner out at Sugar Shack: coconut battered shrimp, jerk pork and goat, corn bread and burger with fries/beer at home
  • Thursday - no walk on beach, beached myself in the water like a whale
  • Thursday night - Peruvian meat and potato dish, salad, beer/white russians
  • Friday - no beach walk, still counting 4 mile walk as if I can divide up miles among days.
  • Friday night - stir fry, then Twister and yoga (kind of)
  • Saturday - 1 mile walk on the beach
  • Saturday night - Barefoot contessa mac and cheese with add your own toppings (including sausage, bacon, peas, jalopeno peppers, tomatoes, broccoli), ice cream for dessert 
  • Sunday - leave for home, peanut butter m&ms and mac and cheese for breakfast, cookout chicken sandwich and shake, kettle corn & perogies for dinner
  • other things eaten during the week: low fat yogurt with granola, celery and carrots with dip, scrambled eggs, cheese omelet, white chedder cheetos, peanut butter m&ms, homemade choc. chip cookies, homemade chocolate cake, skinny cow ice cream sandwich, honey mustard and onion pretzels, regular m&ms, pizza rolls, both pepperoni and combination, kettle corn, gold fish, and shots of various liquors.  Huge news: with all that, NO ONE GOT SICK.  ALL WEEK.
EVEN BIGGER NEWS: I gained half a pound.
However, I don't know how that happened, and I didn't deserve that kind of reward.  I was hoping for 5 and under.  Shit, did you see all the stuff we ate?  Good GOD.  So I walked a little bit.  Something is wrong with me.  I am trying to forget about only gaining half a pound, because I can't go on thinking that the way we stuff ourselves at the beach is ok.  I definitely ate poorly there, but it's more of a group effort.  And also huge news: 2 members of the group are now in their THIRTIES.

    Now it's a few days later.  School has started (no kids yet), and I did VERY well for the first few days, considering my body could have been in shock from lack of FATTY foods.  I didn't work out, but in my defense, I took a very long nap on Monday after school, worked at PB after school on Tuesday, hung out with Tim on Wednesday, and taught lessons tonight after school.  Bad news: Last night, I ate poorly, then drank beer (hello, I DONT have students this week), then made homemade chocolate chip cookies.  FAIL MEGAN.  Fail.

Monday, August 15, 2011 
210 lbs.
  • ham & cheese omelet made at staff mtg. for school
  • 1/2 chocolate chip muffin
  • 2 miniature baby ruths
  • diet coke
  • peppercorn turkey with chz on rye with light mayo
  • diet coke
  • Ritz crackerful bar
  • 4 HOUR NAP, body is in shock from being up so early
  • potato and cheese perogis
  • 4 slices american cheese
  • snackwell popcorn
Not great, but could have been worse.  Worst parts: no veggies, no fruit, no exercise

Tuesday, August 16, 2011
210 lbs.
  • cheerios
  • diet coke
  • fried chicken (lunch was served at school)
  • egg/potato salad
  • roll the size of my palm
  • ritz crackerful
  • diet coke
  • snackwell popcorn
  • marchones italian sub with l. mayo
  • 1 piece godiva chocolate
Wednesday, Augst 17, 2011
210 lbs.
  • cheerios
  • regular coke (3 hr. workshop, no diets in machine, was mad, but not mad enough to not have caffiene)
  • crackerful
  • regular coke
  • turkey and cheese sandwich on rye bread with light mayo
  • hard times cafe with tim: two blue moons, santa fe egg rolls, chili with cheese, and corn bread
  • come home, have another beer, make cookies
  • eat cookies (maybe 5)
Thursday, August 18, 2011
212 lbs.  (What exactly did I think would happen?)
  • cheerios
  • diet coke
  • salami and cheese sandwich on rye with light mayo
  • diet coke
  • carrots
  • ritz crackerful
  • on the way home from lessons, there was a light out at an intersection.  i pulled up and stopped, and 3 cops were directing traffic.  i realized i wished i was 1 lane over, in the turning lane, so when the cops gestured for people to turn, i put on my blinker, waited for everyone else to go, then crept into the turning lane on my left turn signal, and turned left through the intersection, as the one cop waved me on.  Halfway through the intersection, the other cop stood in front of my car, yelling at me and waving.  Then I stopped, and he waved me on, so I moved, then he banged on my window.  I am still in the middle of the intersection at this point.  I roll it down and he yelled at me, "I didn't tell you that you could make a turn from a straight lane!  I know it's confusing with lights out, but I don't want you to get yourself or someone else killed out here!  Okay?!  Thank you!"  Walks away.  I did not respond, bc although I can HANDLE confrontation, I don't like getting yelled at, especially by an authoritative figure.  So I cried the WHOLE way home.  I could have said "The other cop told me to go," but I'm pretty sure he didn't want to hear my voice, I'm pretty sure I should have just gone straight and flipped a bitch later on, and I'm pretty sure I would have been hard to understand what with the pre-sobs causing my chest to heave.  And hello, he's a COP.  I respect cops, a lot.  Having a discussion with a cop in the middle of an intersection (at Connecticut and Randolph, mind you) is not a good idea, and knowing my luck at times, it could have turned into a ticket.
So after crying for about 20 minutes (other things on my mind too, most of all my Aunt Sally who is very ill), I came upstairs, decided not to go to the gym, ate about 10 chocolate chip cookies and watched Hoarders.  You know how if something sad is already happening in your life, and then something little happens, like you stub your toe, or get yelled at by a cop, you're all of a sudden in hysterics?  That's me right now.  I'm wearing sneakers to try to not have a meltdown if I stub my toe.

Ultimately, I was kind of successful for a few days.  I made a sandwich every night so I wouldn't go out for lunch.  I packed snacks so not to hit the vending machines.  I drank lots of water, although I should drink even more.  And then tonight.  Cookies.  This is why I don't bake until like November.  Fail Megan, fail.  Back on the bandwagon.

Thursday, August 4, 2011


Well it's official.  I turned 29 a few days ago, and now I literally have something like 360 days to get thin.  But the thing is, I'm on vacation.  :)

Last Friday morning, Mac and I flew down to my parents place in Murrells Inlet, South Carolina.  It's the land of sun, sand, boating, swimming, fishing, eating, drinking, and then repeat.  So much fun and I'm so lucky to have such a fantastic family.  If I ever have children, I want to have more than one, simply because my sister and I are so close.  I also hope to be as good as my parents have been to us.  Without airing too much dirty laundry, I will politely say that they each had difficult childhoods in my opinion.  It is, without a doubt, my parents and they alone who have made our family what it is.  Ashley and I were/are equally loved, supported and cared for in the most impressive ways.  They are each amazing people and role models, and I simply wouldn't be where I am today without them. 

Without my dad, I wouldn't have the passion for sports that I do.  I am crazy about the Philadelphia Eagles, and I can distinctively remember him yelling at the TV, calling them "filthy, stinkin' bums", when I was younger.  I wouldn't be able to burp as fantastically as I can, get tan, get my Irish up when needed, throw a ball, catch a ball, play golf, wash a car, comb my hair, swim, parallel park an SUV, and about a million other traits if I didn't have the amazing father that I do.

Without my mom, I may not be teaching music.  My mom used to play the piano, and she was also a cheerleader.  This line has forever stayed with me: "Megan, I should have stuck with piano, because in your 40s, you can't do a split, but you can still play piano."  When I quit band in 8th grade, she pushed me to take private lessons, and now I love teaching music.   I wouldn't cry at movies, kiss and hug everyone I know, make hospital corners on beds, adore china and crystal, clean exceptionally well, get yippy when I'm excited, swim or have any sense of class without my mom.  (For example, I can burp really well, but I would not do it when out to dinner.)

To keep the speech going, here's Ashely:  Clear as a bell, I remember her coming home from the salon one day after she gradated high school.  A haircut was all it took?!  It was like a model walked into the room.  She was always cute, and pretty, but just when did my sister become a drop dead gorgeous model?  Overnight, duh.  I'm still waiting for that beauty rest to kick in with me.  No, seriously, without Ashley, I wouldn't know what a best friend is.  I mean, I have best friends, but you know how it is when you've got that one.  I wouldn't laugh as much, wouldn't cry as much, would wear black and brown and navy all in the same outfit, wouldn't use a straightener or curling iron, wouldn't wear makeup, and would without a doubt, be more neurotic than I already am.

Ultimately, I love visiting my family.  :)  AND, I only gained 1 pound.  Great success!

Friday, July 29, 2011 (my birthday!) (hopped on my parents scale, it said I was 5 lbs. lighter.  I stopped using it because I was afraid of thinking that way)
  • chocolate chip muffin at airport after big fight with airline about checked baggage
  • diet coke
  • banana
  • wheat thins
  • out to bday dinner at Charleston Cafe...
  • roll with butter
  • caesar salad
  • potato soup
  • diet coke
  • chicken stuffed with crab
  • baked potato with butter
  • green beans
  • 3 glasses white wine
  • 2 rum and diet cokes
  • 1 shot of jager
  • chicken stuffed with crab
  • 1 piece cake
  • 2 reeces cups (do not remember eating them)
Oh my gosh, why do I think I turned 21?  It was a fun, fun night.

Saturday, July 30, 2011
  • 100 calorie pack cool ranch doritos
  • bologna & cheese sandwich on wheat bread, no mayo
  • diet coke
  • salad with fat free thousand island dressing
  • diet coke
  • 1 crab cake
  • broiled with fish with lemon
  • corn on the cob
  • 1 piece of cake
Sunday, July 31, 2011
  • blueberry buckle (homemade by mom, Duncan Hines recipe, AMAZING)
  • scrambled eggs
  • 1 sausage link
  • diet coke
  • pretzels
  • carrots
  • reduced fat wheat thins and cut up cheese
  • diet coke
  • chicken italiano - chicken in crockpot with tomatoes and onions and peppers
  • angel hair pasta
  • salad with fat free thousand island dressing
  • 1 piece of cake
Monday, August 1, 2011
  • blueberry buckle
  • leftover chicken italiano
  • no idea what else i ate, bc i was lazy and didn't write it down.  and now it's thursday.
Tuesday, August 2, 2011 (daddy's birthday!)
  • blueberry buckle
  • 1/2 turkey sandwich on wheat bread, no mayo
  • banana
  • reduced fat wheat thins and cut up cheese (monterey jack)
  • out to dinner at Dockside....
  • 3 glasses white wine
  • 1 piece bread with butter
  • hushpuppies with amazing strawberry butter
  • 5 grilled scallops with oregano lemon oil
  • 5 grilled shrimp with oregano lemon oil
  • 1/2 beer
  • 1 piece of cake
  • 1 bag of snackwell caramel popcorn drizzled with chocolate (delicious 130 calorie snack, recommendation from my coworker, Precious)
Wednesday, August 3, 2011
  • blueberry buckle
  • diet coke
  • reduced fat wheat thins with cut up cheese
  • hot dog
  • 1/2 cup baked beans
  • snackwell popcorn
  • diet coke
  • tortilla chips
  • 3 pieces Godvia mint choc. chip bar
Now I am back home for a couple days before heading off to Ocean Isle Beach, NC with 7 of my favorite people.  The AMAZING news is that I am only 1 pound heavier than when I left for my parents!  I didn't "watch" myself, but I didn't stuff myself either.  I literally felt like I was on vacation, and to have only gained a pound feels like a triumph for me.  Since I wasn't here on Tuesday, I'll detail my weight along the side via today, Thursday.  Then I'll get back on track with the Tuesdays.

The next week is going to be rough.  It's myself, Mac, and 6 of our best friends from college.  We've been going to the same house for 7 years now, and it's a week filled with outstanding food, drinking as if we're still in college, snacking, games, drinking, eating and more of the same.  It's so fun and hopefully all the laughing I do while I'm there will burn away the calories.  I'd like to say I'll go on walks, but it's vacation.  I'd like to say I won't snack, but it's vacation.  I'd like to say I'll journal what I eat, but it's vacation.  I'm feeling seesaw-like, not knowing which way to go, yet hoping I can balance in the middle.  This is my big vacation of the year, and while I don't want to undo what I've worked for, I realize that I am the queen of excuses- it's vacation.

Disclaimer, as usual.  I wrote a lot about my family, and all the pictures are from my wedding.  That is because, it's been my favorite day of my life. 

And while I clearly love my family, I'm so fortunate to have married my best friend.  Mac is so supportive, and has really helped me with this blog.  He deals with me on a DAILY basis, and I'm just really lucky.  I love you Mac.  Thank you for being my rock.

Thursday, July 28, 2011

Rolls are cute on babies.

Who doesn't love a chubby baby?  Look, I don't want to see an unhealthy child by any means, but neck, wrist, ankle and belly rolls on babies are to die for.
Ugh, so fun.  Look how adorable that child is with the belly and all of the rolls?  Just priceless.  It's called baby fat, and I'm 100% positive that at my age (almost 29), you shouldn't have such rolls.  They're just not cute on anything but a baby (in my opinion) and I'm DEFINITELY not wearing bloomers and a bonnet to try to improve my appearance.

Earlier this week, I did something very brave:  I put my weight on this blog.  I am shocked, embarrassed, appalled, shocked again, sad, frustrated and mad at myself for letting such a big number take over my body.  There are about a million factors that can contribute to weight gain, and I will list some of the excuses I have personally used:
  1. medicine
  2. stress
  3. socializing
  4. rewarding oneself
  5. laziness
  6. emotional eating
The truth is that perhaps those did all apply to my weight gain.  Number 1 reason above all else though: control.  I did not control my eating, I did not control my exercise.  I am not a control freak, so maybe that's why it happened.  Some people- type A.  Megan- type Z.   I take medicine, I get stressed, I socialize, I reward myself and I can be lazy.  You know what though, so does/can everyone.  I have the ability to control almost all of these factors.  Let me explain one ridiculous scenario from my 2nd year of teaching.

Miss Kelly: Bob, I've noticed a change in your attitude lately.  What can I do to help?
Bob (7th grade douchebag): Nothing.
Miss Kelly: No Bob, I can tell something isn't working right, and I want to help.  Did I do something to offend you?  I can even tell your attitude has changed by the way you play.  The group notices it too.
Bob: <<Shrugs>>
Miss Kelly (over-eager-pushy-thinking-she-can-solve-the-situation-with-a-12-year-old): So really, there's nothing I can do?  I want to help.  Tell me, what can I do?
Bob: You can quit.
Miss Kelly's inner thoughts: @!#&*!@#($*&#*#$&*#($%
Miss Kelly: Well, Bob, that's not going to happen.  Okay, good bye.

So, I cried after Bob left the room, went home, took a bath, had wine, ate a bag of cheetos & a carton of ice cream, and I was fine the next day.  I think that's what you call emotional eating, yes?  Fortunately, I've gotten better with children, I think.  Ok, on to journaling...

Monday, July 25, 2011 (same weight as yesterday)
  • cheerios with skim milk
  • 1 diet coke
  • elliptical/30 mins/320 calories
  • 72 leg lifts
  • 37 sit ups
  • tuna macaroni salad
  • saltines
  • 1 diet coke
  • tuna macaroni salad
  • 1 TBS peanut butter
  • 1 piece Godiva bar
Tuesday, July 26, 2011 (same weight as yesterday)
  • panera tuna sandwich on multi-grain bread with cheddar cheese
  • 1 diet pepsi
  • peach
  • elliptical/30 mins/300 calories
  • saltines
  • rotisserie chicken
  • green beans with garlic, lemon juice, salt and pepper
  • italian bread with borseau cheese and margarine
  • 2 pieces Godiva bar
(not a great day: no breakfast, too much italian bread, not enough chicken, and had to cover up time on elliptical machine to finish work out, but hey, at least i finished the workout, right?)

Wednesday, July 27, 2011 (same weight as yesterday)
  • cheerios with skim milk
  • 1 diet coke
  • elliptical machine/30 mins/340 calories
  • Wawa package of white cheddar cheese, grapes and crackers (quick lunch on the way to work, not a bad calorie count)
  • carrots
  • 1 diet coke
  • 4 nutter butters
  • rotisserie chicken
  • italian bread with margarine
  • strawberries
  • 1 piece Godiva bar
(much easier work out on machine today, had considerably more energy, still ate too much bread)

Thursday, July 28, 2011 (up 1 lb. from yesterday)
  • work out with Shannon - elliptical/33 mins/357 calories)
  • Wawa junior Italian hoagie (a junior is 4 inches)
  • apple
  • 1 diet coke
  • pretzels
  • 1 diet coke
  • 1 piece Gouda cheese
  • 2 TBS peanut butter
  • croutons
  • 1 whole Godiva mint choc. chip bar (230 calories, could have been worse, could have been better)
Worst night yet as far as eating.  I turned this evening into a graze-fest, and I am wanting any food I can find.  I actually stopped filling up my gas tank at Wawa @ $30 because I wanted to go in and get a bag of doritos.  I high-tailed it out of that parking lot fast!  I mean, I worked out, and I did a good job, but no breakfast, no real dinner, a whole chocolate bar?  Not cool Megan.  Still better than before, but not good.  Back on track.  To sum it all up, the above behavior creates rolls, and I'm a firm believer that rolls ARE cute.
Just not on Megan.  On babies.   

Monday, July 25, 2011

Dear collar bone: I miss you.

Collar bone, oh collar bone, where art thou collar bone? 

Oh that's right.  Underneath insulation.
(Totally cheesy, but whatever.)

I can't stand that I can't see my collar bone right now.  I also can't stand models that walk down the runway with a collar bone that makes you think of that line from My Big Fat Greek Wedding, "I could snap you like a chicken!"  I actually googled several images of such models to show an example, but in my opinion, it's too sad to look at them.  Dude, I don't want to see your ribs.  Or mine.  Just my collar bone.

I think I was a size 10 in this picture.  (Don't you see a tiny collar bone though?!)  I actually don't have a weight goal in mind, because I can't wrap my head around a number right now.  I know I would like to be a size 10, and I am a 16 now.  I think it's attainable, I think that's a very good and healthy fit for my frame, and it's not that scary to imagine.  Hopefully, I'm on the way and my body won't stop itself at like a 14 or something.  Because, I'm not blogging just to come up with a 14.  Please.

Friday, July 22, 2011 (down 2 lbs. from yesterday)
  • bowl of cheerios with skim milk
  • 1 diet coke
  • 4 pieces peppercorn turkey
  • 3 pieces american cheese
  • saltines
  • work out on elliptical - about 30 mins, burn approx. 300 calories/72 leg lifts
  • junior size burrito from moe's with chicken, cheese and small amount of rice
  • 1 cup tortilla chips with about 1/8 cup queso
  • small popcorn @ movies
  • 1 diet coke
  • 1 box junior mints
Saturday, July 23, 2011 (down 1 lb. from yesterday)
  • bowl of cheerios with skim milk
  • bowl of tuna macaroni salad
  • 1 diet coke
  • work out on elliptical - 30 mins/300 calories/72 leg lifts
  • saltines
  • 1 diet coke
  • stir fry - chicken, stir fry frozen veggies (better with fresh, but we worked w/what we had), light soy sauce and terriyaki sauce, garlic, onion powder, salt and pepper
  • edamame
  • approx. 2 cups white steamed rice
  • mint choc. chip water ice (like 1/2 the freaking quart, uhhhhhhhhhhhhh)
Sunday, July 24, 2011 (down 1 lb. from yesterday)
  • 1 cup dry cheerios
  • 1 diet coke
  • go to Eastern Market with Mary and sweat all the wine we are about to drink OFF.  (Seriously, anyone who lives in DC... it was so fun!  Also picked up onions, corn, peaches and fresh green beans.)
  • 3 glasses of white wine (after guzzling water)
  • tomatoes and mozzarella w/basil
  • italian meats and cheese (pepperoni, salami, etc.)
  • lots of bread with oil
  • edamame (@ home)
  • the other half of the mint choc. chip water ice.  
The GREAT news is that I am 13 lbs. down.  The good news is that since I shoved all the water ice down my collar-not-showing-bone body, I have no more to eat.  And Rita's doesn't make it everyday.  Phewf.  Also, when looking back at this week, I notice that I was able to work out 5 days, and the weight seemed to come off a little more easily.  And, I think my muffin-top is getting smaller.  Gross.  Truth hurts, but gross.  I'm determined not to buy any more clothes, so those of you who see me and notice the muffin top, please excuse me for it.  I know it's not fashion-forward.  I'm working on it.  And the collar bone.  

Note to self:  Megan, when you come back and read this later, as you are neurotic and often do, and you think it's smooth-sailing, take a look at that recent picture on facebook from supper club.  (Can't figure out how to copy it to blog.)  Hmph.

Friday, July 22, 2011

Hello, my name is Megan, and I'm a chocoholic.

 I don't smoke.  (Have before, but it's just not my thing.)  I don't drink.  (Everyday that is.)  I do love/need/crave/twitch without some chocolate though.  True stories...
  1. When I was younger (like, 5 years old), I ate so many Hershey Kisses that I threw up on my dad.
  2. After seeing the Lion King in the movies (circa 1994), I threw up from eating too much popcorn, doritos and chocolate.
  3. I always eat ALL of my Easter candy, especially the solid bunny.
  4. Bayards Chocolate House on Rt. 70 was like a dream for me as a child.  And an adult.
  5. I successfully gave up chocolate for Lent in 2004.  (Not for religious purposes, just to see if I could do it for 40 days.  Seriously.)
  6. I successfully gave up chocolate again for Lent in 2006.  (However I drank White Russians at least once a week to get through my craving, and I think that's not how Lent is supposed to work.)
  7. I often feel nautious after eating raw cookie dough, but I do it anyway.
  8. I have had something like 16 cavities filled.
  9. I have had 1 very PAINFUL root canal.
  10. I push in the bottoms of candy to make sure there's no strawberry, cherry, orange or some other ridiculous jelly flavor that will ruin the chocolate.  (Thanks Dad, for that "thumbing" advice.)
  11. Mac thinks I blame wanting chocolate on PMS.  He says it shouldn't last 2 weeks.
  12. I don't drink coffee; I drink hot chocolate.
  13. Chocolate + salt = lovely.  Chocolate covered pretzels, chocolate peanut brittle, moose munch.
  14. I am super confidant that I could win a chocolate eating contest.
A couple other tidbits... when I gave up chocolate for Lent, I still had cavities, my teeth did not change color (i.e. whiten due to lack of chocolate) and I DID NOT LOSE WEIGHT.  Theoretically, is chocolate the problem?  Maybe not, but it's probably part of the problem.  Also, I didn't have a single cavity until I was 22 years old.  I went to the dentist and found out I had ELEVEN.  AT ONE TIME.  Teachers I worked with can tell you how crazy that was.  Ok, on to my journal.  More about chocolate in a minute.

Monday, July 18, 2011 (up 1 lb. from yesterday)
  • 1 cup Golden Grahams
  • 1 diet coke
  • 1 piece american cheese
  • 1 chicken breast with ranch rub
  • tomato cucumber salad
  • 1 diet coke
  • 2 mile walk with klobo in dc
  • veggies with dip
  • 3 slices Italian bread with margarine
  • 1 piece Godiva mint choc. chip bar
Tuesday, July 19, 2011 (same weight as yesterday)
  • 1 cup golden grahams (all gone thank God)
  • 4 slices american cheese
  • 4 slices peppercorn turkey
  • 1 diet coke
  • veggies with dip
  • work out - 5 mins stairmaster/10 mins treadmill/10 mins bike/leg and arm weights/leg lifts (36 each leg)
  • pretzels
  • grilled chicken breast with ranch rub
  • 2 pieces Godiva mint choc chip bar
  • 1/2 slice cake (last piece of our wedding cake, it was a MUST as far as I'm concerned)
Wednesday, July 20, 2011 (down 1 lb. from yesterday... really?  after cake?!)
  • 1 cup strawberries
  • 1 diet coke
  • 4 pieces peppercorn turkey
  • 3 pieces american cheese (mac suggested not eating a pc. of cheese for every pc. of turkey.  interesting concept.)
  • veggies with dip
  • work out - 15 mins on elliptical/go into leasing office to complain about gym being 80 degrees inside with 4 windows open when everyone knows there's a crisis heat index of 1,000 degrees in the whole country/20 mins back on elliptical/shirt is a different color green from sweat/leg lifts
  • 1 serving tuna macaroni salad (elbow macaroni, tuna fish, celery, real mayo and lots of celery salt)
  • saltines
  • 1 diet coke
  • 2 pieces Godiva mint choc chip bar
Thursday, July 21, 2011 (down 1 lb. from yesterday)
  • cheerios with skim milk
  • 1 diet coke
  • saltines
  • 1 diet coke
  • 1 miniature macadamia nut cookie from mrs. fields (about 1.25 inches round)
  • tuna macaroni salad
  • 3 pieces peppercorn turkey
  • 3 pieces american cheese
  • leg lifts (72, that does not really count as working out, but I'm putting it down anyway.)
  • 1 piece Godiva mint choc. chip bar
Huge progress, I am 9 lbs. down at my 2 1/2 week mark!  I have definitely been wanting sweets more, and I try not to have treats unless I work out.  I will sweat my badunkadunk off at the gym just to have a little bit of chocolate.  Hey, whatever works, right?  It's motivation now, and it may change later, but for now, I think I'll keep this up.

Side note of insecurity: While I can acknowledge my progress, I am also skeptical.  Maybe 9 lbs. was just water weight, whatever that is.  Maybe my scale isn't that great, so I'll keep double checking with the gym scale.  9 lbs. is not a lot, and I feel like if I wanted to, I could gain it back in 2 days.  I think I'll be a little less wary when I've lost 20+ lbs.  Hopefully.  Either way, I should not give up.  Not yet.  Hopefully, not ever.  Lose, then maintain.  (Fingers crossed, and where is that rabbit foot?)

Monday, July 18, 2011

Feel the chins

A couple years ago, my sister Ashley asked me why I had lines on my neck.  Actually I think she said, "Oh my gosh Meg, what are those lines on your neck?"  Swat.  I should have smacked her.  I love her, and sometimes, you've got to love the honesty of sisters.  She is without a doubt, my best friend, but damn did I all of a sudden start thinking about those lines on my neck.  Her suggestion: wear a sports bra at night so my chest doesn't flop up and hit my chin, causing my neck to wrinkle.  Sure, thanks, Ash.  That sounds nice.

I went back to school and was telling a fellow teacher about my sister's and my convo.  This teacher, who is lovely, a size 2, and has sisters, understood.  She was quick to point out that she has lines on her neck, and it may be either genetic or age.  Hmm.

Well, tonight, I am feeling those lines.  I feel like I overate this weekend, and I swear I could rival a football player right now- you know, the ones with almost no neck?  The pro is that this past weekend still was not as bad as what I was doing to my body before this whole charade.  The con is that I know better.

Friday, July 15, 2011 (same weight as yesterday)
  • 1 1/4 cup Golden Grahams
  • 1 diet coke
  • elliptical machine for 30 mins @ avg. 120 strides per minute (think march tempo, such a band geek)
  • reminder: the elliptical said i burned 322 calories
  • 4 slices peppercorn turkey
  • 4 slices american cheese
  • pretzels
  • 1/2 salad with croutons and thousand island dressing
  • 4 slices peppercorn turkey
  • 4 slices american cheese
  • 1 diet coke
  • 1 cup strawberries w/sugar
  • 1 piece godiva mint choco chip bar
 All in all, a decent day, although I should probably change it up a little bit so I don't get bored.  Dietz and Watson peppercorn turkey really is amazing though.  And I love cheese.  Nothing like fresh lunchmeat.

Saturday, July 16, 2011 (down 1/2 lb. from yesterday)
(disclaimer: Supper Club (one night per month with three other couples) )
  • 1 diet coke
  • cut up veggies (no dip)
  • 1/2 serving tortilla chips (no dip)
  • 1 crab cake (homemade by mac, size of my palm)
  • 1/2 buttermilk ranch rub grilled chicken breast
  • tomato cucumber salad (w/light italian dressing, just as good as regular in my opinion)
  • 1 ear of corn (with margarine)
  • 1 slice american cheese
  • 1 slice of wedding cake
  • strawberries and blueberries with sugar
  •  WAY too much mint chocolate chip water ice
  • 1 diet coke
  • 2 glasses white wine
  • 2 beers
  • 1 shot of rum (dominican republic style with branches and stuff in it, cringe.  mary did a very nice thing by making it, and i'm glad i tried it.  next time, i will politely decline.)
The really amazing thing about Supper Club is that it's always fun and I laugh a lot, therefore burning a lot of calories.  The bad thing is it's like a graze-fest for me.  All of that, above, was like one meal.  I didn't eat the rest of the day!  Oh ya, and I didn't work out.  Good grief.

Sunday, July 17, 2011 (up 1/2 lb. from yesterday)
  • woke up very late, feeling kinda off (sleeping in, drinking, weird dreams, etc.)
  • 1 diet coke
  • 1 cup golden grahams
  • elliptical machine, 1/2 hour, 320 calories
  • raw veggies with a little bit of dip
  • 4 slices american cheese
  • peach
  • italian bread (like 1/2 the freaking loaf) with borseau cheese and homemade bruschetta
  • 1 slice wedding cake
  • 1 diet coke
Well, this was a terrible day.  I could sugarcoat it and say that it still wasn't as bad as what I was doing before.  But I'm gonna be a little negative nancy and say wtf megan? 

The good thing is that I'm very motivated to start out right again tomorrow.  Not all weekends will be like this past one, and at least I worked out.  Hard too.  I was like dripping sweat from my fingertips on my legs as I was going.  And that was without an ipod too.

In conclusion, I am not feeling the burn.  I'm feeling the chins.  And the belly.  I don't like the chins.  Or the belly.  Not at all.

Friday, July 15, 2011

"Oh, I'm not pregnant..."

(... and don't want to be.  At least not in 2011, 2012 & probably 2013.) 

Unfortunately, I have said, "I'm not pregnant" to people before.  Even worse, I've said it because they have asked the awful question to a woman who is not pregnant: "When are you due?"  It makes me SO angry, sad, frustrated, confused and really pissed off.  Now, it is true that I have a belly, and it's also true that when I stand with bad posture, I look terrible.  Doesn't everyone?  I've been getting told to stand up straight/not to slouch for like, 20 years now, by family, friends and even an old swim coach.  (Anna can tell you how mad I was about that, it was probably 15 years ago.)  You see, the excuse is that I have scoleosis.  The truth is that it doesn't affect my posture.  Everyone who's been telling me to stand up straight is right.  I look better when I do.

Back to the matter at hand.  It wasn't so bad to get asked by students if I was pregnant.  (This even happened when I was a size 8 and a size 10.)  All you have to do is touch your stomach and they think there's a baby in there.  I also stopped responding to them with "I'm not married."  That's because a couple students shot back at me, "Miss Kelly, you don't got to be married to have kids."  Alright then.

What makes me most upset is when an adult asks me.  Let alone someone who is not small.  I have been asked probably at least 10 times, and that is so embarrassing to admit.  Twice in winter coats (2 different coats, and really, I'm a puffball in coats), a couple times in outfits that have empire waists (I guess you could say I was asking for it, especially when slouching) and there was even a time when the same person asked me multiple times (I categorize that as someone being a dumbass).  I am actually going to write down some of the responses friends (other friends have been asked, and my heart goes out to them, it sucks) and I have come up with in our minds, although I haven't worked up the nerve to say it to someone's face yet.  I might be getting close though.
  • I'm not pregnant, are you?
  • I'm not pregnant, what is your excuse?
  • You do see that I have boobs, hips and an ass, right?
  • I have a glandular problem.
  • Have you ever heard of Emily Post?  You should check her out.
  • Uh, I knew I should have worn Spanx today.
  • the other responses I have thought about are SO bad, that I'm not writing them down for fear of karma, nor would I ever say them to someone.  Let's just say, they'd make someone feel like a huge POS.  Also, I'd never wish any of the above on someone.  I.e. glandular problems, other medical conditions.  I may be a biatch, but I'm not heartless.  
Now, on to the journal I have been keeping.
 Tuesday, July 12, 2011 (up 1 lb. from yesterday)
  • 1/3 chicken parm. breast (no pasta!!!)
  • 1 cup roasted red potatoes
  • 1 diet pepsi
  • banana
  • 1 mile walk with klobo
  • pretzels
  • salad w/croutons and peppercorn ranch
  • 2 small pieces red baron pizza (could fit on a salad plate, not like papa johns)
  • 1 diet coke
  • 1 piece godiva mint choco. chip bar
Wednesday, July 13, 2011 (same weight from yesterday)
  • 1 1/4 cup golden grahams
  • salad w/croutons and thousand island dressing
  • 1 diet coke
  • banana
  • 1 diet coke
  • 3 small slices of pizza (at home again, not delivery)
Thursday, July 14, 2011 (down 1 lb. from yesterday)
  • 1 1/4 cup golden grahams
  • 1 diet coke
  • chipotle chicken wrap with lettuce and little bit of mayo
  • 1 diet pepsi
  • pretzels
  • 3 small pieces of pizza
  • 1 cup strawberries with little bit of sugar on them

Well, I have not worked out the past couple days.  Hmm.  Got to work on that.  The excuse is that I've been working at PB, have had appointments, been running errands & cleaned the apartment a lot.  The truth is a line from Wedding Crashers: No excuses, play like a champion.

On a positive note, I am doing a decent job of not over-eating.  I am also sticking mostly to snacks I said I would, limiting soda and drinking tons of water, although I could up the water.  Even if I don't have 3 meals a day, I'm trying to base my day and snacks around at least 2 meals, which is a good thing.  A few other "to-dos" in the future...
  1. more protein
  2. more veggies
  3. must change cereal when finished this humungo box of golden grahams
  4. keep journaling (kinda proud i've kept it up for all of 10 days)
  5. WORK OUT.

Tuesday, July 12, 2011

Happy Anniversary!

This past Sunday was Mac's and my first anniversary, so lots of cheating went on, and I was totally fine with it.  I actually think it doesn't even pale in comparison to days like Thanksgiving or Christmas, so there.  :)

Saturday, July 9, 2011 (down 3 lbs. from yesterday!!!)
  • slept in way late, like 12:30 PM
  • 1 1/4  cup golden grahams
  • 1 diet coke
  • 2 servings goldfish
  • small popcorn @ movies (go see horrible bosses, i laughed for about 3 hours)
  • junior mints
  • 1 diet coke
Clearly, a horrible day.  The only real meal I had was Golden Grahams?!  Really, I wasn't hungry most of the day, and sometimes, that happens.  Mac wasn't either, and then it's practically impossible to go to the movies on a Saturday night and not get popcorn and candy.  That would be silly.  :)  The day wasn't so bad as far as over-eating, but health-wise, yikes.

Sunday, July 10, 2011 (down 2 lbs. from yesterday)
  • Einstein bagel with cream cheese
  • Chocolate chip coffee cake
  • 1 diet coke (gotta love that I'm drinking diet coke with the above)
  • 1 serving goldfish
on to dinner at Rays the Steaks, amazing restaurant in Arlington, sister restaurant to Rays the Classics in Silver Spring

  • Cracked pepper cashews
  • 1 bacon wrapped scallop
  • 2 glasses Pinot Noir
  • Caesar salad
  •  Peppercorn Filet with Au puoie (sp/?!?!?!) pepperish sauce
  • Garlic Mashed Potatoes
  • Chocolate Mousse with whipped cream and strawberries
  • wedding cake

Monday, July 11, 2011 (up 1 lb. from yesterday, shocker)
  • 1 1/4 cup of golden grahams (can you tell I'm trying to finish the box?)
  • apple
  • 1 Tbs. peanut butter
  • 1 reduced fat string cheese
  • 1 diet coke
  • 1 mile walk w/klobo around dc
  • pretzels
  • edamame
  • 1 diet coke
  • leftover filet
  • 2 pieces of godiva mint choc. chip bar (aniversary gift, these two pcs. totaled 115 calories)

Now it is Tuesday, and I am unfortunately 1 lb. up from yesterday as well.  Grr.  I'm trying to remind myself that my weight can change VERY easily.  I can gain and lose 2-3 lbs. in a day like nobody's business.  Ultimately, I am still down 7 lbs from the very beginning.  I am not hungry that often, and when my stomach does growl, I like to think that:

           a) this is working
           b) my stomach is eating away at itself
           c) having a stomach that growls is supposed to be NORMAL, not some
               freak incident

I am promising myself that the next post is going to be funny.  I'm working on coming up with smart answers to people with stupid questions about one's size.  The next post will be about getting asked, "When you are due?"  Until then, here's hoping I don't run into anyone dumb enough to ask such a question to someone from Jersey who's on a diet.

Saturday, July 9, 2011

Why can't I run straight on a treadmill?

I absolutely hate running.  I like the idea of it, and I am in awe when people either tell me they run, or they are running for a race or something.  I am also in awe when I see people running on treadmills.  You see, I've tried it, and I bounce off of the sides like some sort of cracked out pinball machine.  I wish I liked running, and then maybe if I did, I'd look like those people running on treadmills (generally decent figures).

Ok, past few days have been successful...

Wednesday, July 6, 2011 (continued from earlier blog)
  •  triskets with bruschetta
  • salad w/croutons and thousand island dressing
  • 3 pieces american cheese
  • 1 diet coke
  • 1 piece (off mac's plate) chx. w/buttermilk ranch rub
  • 1 cup strawberries with sugar sprinkled
All in all, not a bad day!

Thursday, July 7, 2011 (down 1 lb. from yesterday)
  • woke up @ 10:20
  • 1 C. golden grahams
  • panera tuna salad sandwich on whole grain bread (only added cheddar cheese)
  • 1 diet pepsi
  • 4 slices peppercorn turkey
  • 4 slices american cheese
  • reduced fat wheat thins as snack
  • apple & peanut butter
  • 1 diet coke
This day was alright.  Bad news: no work out, ate out for lunch.  Good news and personal triumphs: did not eat the chips at panera that are so good, did not visit mrs fields or godiva at pottery barn while working.  Anyone who works at white flint mall knows buying a snack that is healthy there is IMPOSSIBLE. 

Friday, July 8, 2011 (down 1 lb. from yesterday)
  • woke up @ 11:30 bc I am a bum
  • fast walked 1.25 mile on treadmill
  • 1/2 chx breast with that buttermilk ranch rub
  • 1 diet coke
  • 1 1/4 cup golden grahams as snack
  • hibachi chx for dinner, did not eat all of it, and then I felt sick.
  • 1 diet coke
Cons: Woke up too late and am afraid of falling into lazy summer days.  Did not eat breakfast, as it is hard for me to eat first thing in the morning, and then I had to go to work. 
Pros: Worked out.  Again with no snacks at White Flint.  (Anyone who works at PB will tell you that frosted cookies are like heaven and choco. covered oreos are pretty good too.)

Side note: I'm no longer detailing water, because that's getting a little ridiculous to record.  I drink water all the time.  Maybe all this is too, but so far, I'm happy, so I'll stick with it

Saturday, July 9, 2011 (down 3 lbs. from yesterday!!!)

Since I'm writing this on Saturday, before I've had a chance to do anything yet, I'll describe this day in another blog.  But HUGE NEWS: I am down 7 lbs.  While that is really exciting to see on a scale, I'm trying to remember a couple really important things...
  • My weight was/is at such a not good point, that it is possible to lose so much so quickly.
  • This will not continue the whole time.
  • I am not going to look different.  Yet.  (although I keep looking in the mirror expecting to)
  • These past few days have not been miserable.
  • This is a good summer project for me, as I need/like to be busy.
  • I still need to work on three solid meals per day.
  • I need to up it at the gym.  Seriously, fast walking is not the cardio I had in mind... I used to work out, like 1/2 hr on elliptical machines to tunes like "Mama Kin" (Aerosmith) where the pace is FAST, then do weights, then run 1 mile on treadmill.  That's the cardio I'll try to get back to.

Ok, I've got to do well today, because tomorrow and Mac's and my first anniversary, and we are having a big breakfast, and going out somewhere really good for dinner (I don't know where, but I predict I'll probably have red wine, steak and some sort of delicious side.).  Also, we have our wedding cake in the freezer.  :)

Wednesday, July 6, 2011

What goes around comes around

They say karma's a bitch.  I believe it's true, and someone said it to me recently.  I was lashing out about another person (not a friend), and low and behold, that person got what they want, and I'm sitting here festering.  I should probably go find a kick-boxing class right now.  I am well aware this is not a good quality in people and most certainly not an attractive side of me.  I'm currently working on that.

Ok, now that's finished and I am going to turn this into a positive blog.  What goes around comes around, to an extent.  If I eat poorly and don't exercise, I will not feel well.  I've eaten well today and exercised this morning; therefore I don't feel terrible, as opposed to days where I could eat McD for lunch, not work out, and then feel terrible.  What goes around comes around. 

Tuesday, July 5, 2011 (max weight, will disclose when I am comfortable)
  • wake up @ 11 am 
  • headache from drinking past 2 nights (4th of july bbqs people, don't judge)
  • currently upset about my headache
  • 1 package of reece's cups
  • 1 6 piece mcnugget meal with fries and a coke from mcd
  • change of heart, finally decide to commit to blog
  • 20 oz. water
  • 1 mile walk with klobo around dc
  • 1 diet snapple
  • pretzel sticks for a snack
  • salad with croutons and thousand island dressing
  • 3 or 4 slices of american cheese
  • 1 cup strawberries with little bit of sugar on them
  • 1 diet coke
Ok, on a grading basis, maybe yesterday was a C.  First half of the day = epic fail, second half of day = not too shabby, therefore, whole day is a C.

Wednesday, July 6, 2011 (down 2 lbs, it's like my scale was being friendly)
  • woke up @ 10:15
  • walked 1 1/4 mile on treadmill, fast paced.
  • 1 pear
  • 1 diet coke
  • 4 slices peppercorn turkey
  • 4 slices american cheese
  • 20 oz. water so far
I will continue to write in the journal what I eat for the rest of the day & put it here.  What goes around comes around, so maybe by eating well today, tomorrow I will look like old Megan with a few more wrinkles.

I mean, it came on overnight, so why not leave overnight?

Tuesday, July 5, 2011

Here's hoping...

Hello.  My name is Megan and I am going to be turning 29 shortly.  I am super fortunate in so many ways: I have an amazing husband, Mac, an amazing family, amazing friends and a steady job in my field that makes me happy.  However, I, like many people have been wanting to lose weight for a while.  I'm hoping that if I write down what I do and ADMIT to what I do, it will help me lose weight, eat better, work out regularly and ultimately, I will be thin by 30.  One year.  

For years, I was a size 8.  I had a couple 6's and a few 10's.  I was fortunate, because I don't think I worked very hard to maintain my size.  I was just blessed with curves that were acceptable, and I was super proud and super confidant. 

Now I am not so confidant.  Between 2006 and 2007, during my third year of teaching, I started gaining weight, rapidly.  I literally went from a healthy size 10 to a size 14/16 in what I felt was overnight.  I felt like my body had exploded, and I didn't like it at all.  I still don't like it.  I lost a little over 20 lbs. before my wedding in 2010 thanks to the support of my mom and Jenny Craig.  I started feeling better and it was awesome.  I had less of a tummy and my face got smaller.  I got compliments and had more energy.  However, I am ashamed to say I put it all back on and then some.

I do NOT want to be skinny.  It's just not for me and I think I'd look stupid.  I just want to be healthy and feel better.  I'm not asking for size 6 clothes again, but I've held on to some size 8's that I can't let go of.  Don't most people do that?  

I do NOT want to do some crazy diet where I can't eat certain things, like carbs, meat or cheese.  I roll my eyes as I'm typing this, but I love food.  My whole family does, and anyone who has visited them knows this.  Dave and Frannie (Dad and Mom) will feed you until you feel like a stuffed sausage, but they are not big people.  A typical Kelly evening after a day at the beach goes like this:

Frannie (mom): Megan and Mac, do you want some chips and salsa?
Mac (husband): Sure.
Megan (me): No thanks.
Frannie: Ashley and Andrew, will you eat some bruschetta?
Ashley (sister): Sure.
Andrew (sister's bf): Your family eats more bread than anyone I know.
Frannie: Will you guys eat some cheese and crackers?
Megan: Sure.
Dave (dad): Hey guys, we're going to have ribs in a little bit, is that ok?
m&m and a&a: Oh my gosh.  Ok, sure.
Frannie: I have veggies I can cut up too!

Now, just because it's offered doesn't mean you have to eat all of it, right?  Here are some things I am going to try to learn, master, keep up with, learn and master again over the course of a year...
  • Eat three meals everyday.
  • Work out 4x per week: mostly cardio.
  • No more than 2 sodas per day.
  • All other beverages must be water, except on special occasions, which should not happen weekly. 
  • Snacks may be: fruits, veggies, pretzels, reduced fat wheat thins, reduced fat string cheese.
 This may be boring at first, but I know I lost weight before, and following the above will help.  It might even work.  Here's hoping...