Thursday, May 1, 2014

They said WHAT?!

Hello. Welcome to n chapter of "They said What?!"

I am your host, Megan. I used to write a blog, and I still write a blog, although I often take breaks, and well, that's just how it works. Inconsistency, if you will.

I've been thinking for a while about writing posts about the crazy things people say. Like, kids say the darndest things, but with adult. Because adults say the damndest things.

A couple months ago, I was in Brigantine with a bunch of beautiful people for my sister's bachelorette weekend. It was fantastic, and on Saturday, we all got in cars and drove to a winery about a half an hour away. (I was DD, and therefore only had a couple tastings.) Anyways, I was super excited for this trip, as Ashley was excited, and it was a beautiful day in the midst of a crappy winter.

On to Smithville. A place that is so cute, almost all independent shops, outside, and on a lake. Hello, there's a B&B here. Stop traffic. I have to go back.

Margaret, one of the awesome bridesmaids and most awesomest people on the planet, asked all of the people to bring a pair of under-britches for the bride to be, and she'd have to guess who they were from. (I brought some that had "Bayside High" written on them, i.e. a nod to our childhood.) Anyways, Marg and I decided to check out this fancy shmancy lingerie shop at the front of the center. We excused ourselves from the rest of the sausage-cheese eating crew and walked over to The Pink Corset, which looked really cute. We go in, get greeted immediately by two middle-aged European women (just giving a description here, people) and say we're there to pick up some bridal items, particularly underwear. Here goes the rest of the convo...

Hund #1: Would you like a garter?

Marg: No, we're just here for underwear.

Hund #2: Well we have some excellent garters.

Me: No thanks, we're good. In fact, we already have one for her with a baseball logo on it. It's great.

Both hunds show us several garters.

Me & Marg: No, we're good thanks.

..... We go to check out with a thong rose that says bride on it...

..... Both of the hunds are there with a younger salesperson.......

..... Discussion about why we're there, bachelorette party, etc.....

Hund #1: We have excellent bra fitting techniques.

Hund #2: You should bring the whole bridal party in here for a fitting.

Margaret: Oh, thanks. You know what my problem is? (She goes on to describe her problem with bras, and the hunds listen, all while telling her she's amazing for sharing her size, which she is.)

Hund #1: << looking at me>> Do you know what your problem is?


Hund #1: You breasts are too low.


Hund #1: They are sitting on your stomach.


Hund #1: If you had the right bra, you'd look fifteen pounds lighter.


We left, I've commented on their facebook page, and I will never go in that store again.

Thank you for reading this issue of "They said WHAT?!"