Proof I was sick...

- I napped during the 1:00 game last Sunday, and I don't usually nap until later.
- I called out of school.
- I woke up drenched in sweat, for three days.
- I called the dr.
- My temperature at the doctor was 102.1. I almost cried when I heard that.
- The dr. said he was very sorry to see my throat so bad. His bet was strep. I almost cried again.
- Every time I tried to swallow, I winced like a baby.
- The dr. offered for me to lay down in the office bc I didn't look well enough to drive home.
- My HORSE PILLS, Clarithromycin, should be taken 2x a day for ten days.
- Six extra strength tylenol daily to keep my fever down.
- Nightmares.
- My tongue turned yellow. (Gross)
- I tried to brush the yellow off of my tongue, then when it didn't work, I chucked that toothbrush in the trash.
- There was a bad taste in my mouth that I couldn't shake. (Sorry, gross again)
- I stopped talking for about two days.
- I washed something like 5 dishes and had to take a nap, and...


.......



wait for it....




...the #1 reason I knew I was sick...





- I stopped eating. That's when you know I'm really sick. I just couldn't eat. I think I've had maybe three or four servings of soup over the past few days. That is so not my style.

The plus to all of this? I lost 4.8 pounds and can fit in my favorite jeans, a size 14, one size down. I am so excited to keep going. I can't wait to ditch the 190s. I officially hit 25 (my halfway goal) on Jenny Craig and 30 lbs. lost on my own.

The negative to all this? The warning on my antibiotics label says, and I quote, "Diarrhea may occur weeks to months after taking drug. Call doctor."

No shit I'll call the doctor. I signed up for weight loss, not some sort of upside down bulimia through strep throat meds.

Same

All is the same. The good news is, apparently I can maintain a certain weight. The bad news is that my pants are fitting so well that I'm having trouble thinking about the next size down. I need to try on smaller pants in my closet, have them stop and not be able to button them, and hopefully that will motivate me? I don't know.

I need to work out. Enough is enough. It's flipping gorgeous outside, so no excuses.

I switched weigh in days and consultants. Two years ago, when I first did Jenny Craig, I met with an awesome woman named Thelma. She is so outstanding. We also have somewhat similar figures. I'm back with Thelma now, and it's so great. We just have more in common, and right now, that change feels really fresh.

Anyways, that's all I got. Football season is here, food is here, and fall beers are here. All of that is amazing. The only thing holding me back from filling the giant ceramic pumpkin with candy is Mac. He says no Halloween stuff until October. Fine. I will wait. Impatiently.

I mean, I'm on a diet. Or lifestyle change. I don't think about candy. Or anything like that. :)

Happy fall yall.

Vanity

- I love the way I look.
- All pictures of me are awesome.
- Sometimes, I look so thin I am mistaken for Heidi Klum.
- I am thrilled that my chest size is a 38DD.
- I am thrilled that my jeans are a size 16.

Guess which of those are lies? ALL OF THEM.

I'm not being tough on myself, but I am somewhat vain. I'd be lying if I said there was no vanity in all of this weight loss schmeight loss.

- I am dissatisfied with the way I look, but I am proud of my progress.
- I have only ever untagged one picture on fb, even though there are plenty of unflattering ones. Seriously, not every picture will be perfect.
- I am never mistaken for Heidi Klum, but it was kind of a nickname in German class, and I don't think I got the joke then. It was because I wore pigtails one time. Pigtails = Heidi = Heidi Klum. Something like that.
- I tried on a 36D bra last week, willing my boobs to go down. It didn't work.
- I tried on a size pair of 16 jeans. They still fit and I'm pissed. I am a size 14 in dress pants.

I wanted to post a candid picture from facebook on here. But the truth is, I can't. I want to pretend it doesn't exist. I guess I could look at it for motivation, but the truth is, it makes me a little sad, so I think I'll just ignore it. If you're friends with Mac, he was tagged in a photo from a wedding recently, and I'm not tagged in the photo. (I wasn't tagged, so I didn't untag myself.) I'm standing in the photo in a world of slouch. I'm going to go on and pretend it didn't happen, because I don't want to discourage myself, and at this very moment, I'm not strong enough to post it on here. It will be a great "before picture" hopefully. Crossing fingers.

My inches were measured today at Jenny Craig. First time since April.

Down .8" in chest.
Down 2" in waist.
UP . 2" in abdomen. (Glitch... I perhaps measured myself wrong the first time; the consultant did it today.)
Down 2.5 in hips.

And I lost a pound.

AND my amazing friend Erica graciously took the Snickers bar away from me tonight. I can't tell you how it even wound up in my bag of Jenny Craig food. Baffling. ;)

Deserve

I use the word "deserve" a lot. I deserve this chocolate. I deserve these chips and queso. I deserve this drink. I deserve this nap. You get the idea. It doesn't just apply to lazy things either. I will talk myself into deserving a new shirt, dress, home decor, pedicure, manicure, etc. It's wasteful and reckless and sad. You know what I need to tell myself? My parents deserve the money I owe them. My friends deserve their thank you notes on time. My husband deserves a neat home. (Not trying to be a martyr here.) These things will make me happy in the long run. I deserve full gratification, not instant gratification. I deserve the feeling of exhaustion after a workout. I deserve to look in the mirror and be happy with what I see. I deserve to feel and be healthy. I deserve to live a long, happy and healthy life. Everyone deserves that.

Instant gratification is huge with me, sadly. I am so used to and spoiled by digital cameras that while our wedding photographer, Mike, was taking really pics of us, I asked him, "So are there some good ones in there?" He looked at me like I had three heads. I said, "No, I mean, are there some framers?" True story. I didn't look at a single photo he took that day, and it certainly wasn't a dig at him, because his work is really freaking good, but I was no longer trained to WAIT.

In weight loss, I have to wait. There is some instant gratification in the fact that I lost 1.4 pounds. But in the long run, hopefully the happiness I feel will outdo any spontaneous gifts I've given myself. Hopefully I will appreciate the work I've accomplished and not ruin it with quick, empty rewards.

I can still use this word, deserve. I can also use words like earn or phrases like "I owe it to myself". I just need to tweak the part that happens after it. The rewards. So, I will try to focus on that this week, and after this week.

On the subject of pictures, I think I can clean up well, and carefully choose what pictures I like to post on the blog. ;) I dare say to the point of pretty. I deserve that. Every single person deserves to feel pretty, handsome, etc. And to feel that way, I need to keep going. I owe it to myself to keep going.