Monday, September 5, 2011

Le Sag & Le Family

Le Sag.

I am a little confused. I am 29 years old, not 89 years old. I don't have any children, yet my body is changing. Le sag. I need to understand why my boobs are closer in proximity to my belly button than my neck. Seriously. It's almost laughable. Does that mean that when I'm 50 years old and maybe have kids that they will be at my belly button, or will that fall too? Also, I'm fairly certain this sagging business doesn't happen to guys. Mac doesn't ever seem to have puffy eyes or bags under his eyes, and if he gains weight, it doesn't sag. Wtf. The only explanation I can think of is that I don't like wearing a bra, but I wear one because I'm not a hippie and it seems appropriate for our society. Plus, hello, I can't let everyone in the grocery store know that my chest is falling. Maybe all those times in college that I didn't wear a bra are coming back to bite me in the buttox. (Which by the way, if THAT falls, it will be a catastrophe.) At Elon, my roommates and I used to go get breakfast at the dining hall, and they would all yell at me for just wearing a tshirt sans bra, and I'd be like "whatever, I don't like it, and it's the weekend." Maybe their chests are still closer to their necks. If I lose weight, will I sag less? Or is there just less to sag?

Le Family.

Oh. My. God. Family. The amount of emotional eating I have blamed on family in the past couple days is disgusting. I'm hoping that as Mac and I grow old together we can keep our issues to ourselves and put on a good show in public. I mean, that's all I'm asking. Put on a GOOD show when it matters.

Back track: Since being in school the journal has been neglected. I have still been packing my lunch for the most part, but the eating this week was not great at home. I think we ate out a couple times and we had a wedding. A family wedding, so drinking was a must. In addition to not being on my best behavior, my throat has been incredibly sore, and this makes me not want to go to the gym. I just can't imagine working out when it's hard to swallow and I have lots of sinus pressure too. I'm taking medicine, so hopefully it will get better. I despise sore throats.

Now to this weekend: There was a family wedding. Kacey, Mac's cousin and one of my sorority sisters from college, got married to Keith. They looked so beautiful and happy and it was a very celebratory day. They are each wonderful people and make a really good couple. They also traveled down to our wedding last year from KY, and we really appreciated that. Kacey was also one of the readers in our wedding. Their ceremony was touching and short, and the vibe was simple: happy. The reception was also touching, with good music and sweet toasts.

When people ask me about the wedding, the above paragraph will be my answer. But here, it's a blog and I'm in the mood to vent a little bit. Plus, I need to provide excuses for the food and drinks I've consumed this weekend. Try to keep up.

I'm convinced all families have issues. I'm also convinced that all families have issues that go back further into older generations. Believe me when I say that the "kids" at the wedding were the best behaved. I saw no 20 or 30 year olds misbehaving. That's right. It's the older ones. Which means I'm in trouble. Because I can get kind of snarky now... what will happen in 20 years? Seriously, the 20 and 30 year olds are NOT perfect. But, we put on a damn good show.

(Cousins: Jamie and Lindsay Platky, Keith and Kacey Warren, Mac & me)

It was the older generations. The 50 and 60 year olds. Oh my gosh. What is with the stubborn attitudes? What is with the inability to forgive? (Actually I have a hard time with grudges too, so I should direct that question to myself.) Or be the bigger person? Are they just tired of "putting on a show" because they did it for so long and just don't care anymore? Oh, and one important factor. All the family members at this wedding are from Mac's side. That's right. In-laws.

I feel like I'm going to hit challenges with in-laws. Dave isn't my dad, so can I talk to him the way I would talk to my dad? Mary Jane isn't my mom, but am I allowed to say things to her that I would say to my mom? Or is that all Mac's job? If my parents do something that Mac doesn't like, is he allowed to talk to them about it? How does it work with in-laws? What about siblings? Can I tell my brother-in-law my opinions, or can Mac and Ashley hash it out? (That would be hysterical by the way.)

I figured better safe than sorry with all the in-law stuff, and so I kept quiet. Hello, it's a wedding, and it's about the bride and groom and nothing else. When someone made a snarky comment at the wedding, I just let it go, because it's not the time or the place. Instead, I got another beer and then ate crap the rest of the weekend, trying to make sense of nonsense. Maybe Mac and I will invite everyone over around the holidays and get into it at the dinner table. That's what happens in everyone's family, right? But then, one more question... if someone "misbehaves" at our place, are we allowed to kick them out? One on hand, respect your elders. On the other hand, if someone is mean to Mac or me, or someone we love, shouldn't we stand up for that person? Uch, I'm so confused. Maybe I'll just mash up Xanax in everyone's mashed potatoes and we'll all be chill as hell.

Now I'm just waiting for my throat to feel better and my ankles to feel better (Heels can be worth it, I swear. Especially Nine West nude patent leather heels.). Then I will be able to hit the gym and hopefully work out any frustrations on elliptical machines instead of consuming foods and beverages in an unhealthy manner.

Cheers everyone. Cheers to family. I don't know which is more ridiculous. Le family or le sag.

By the way... for now, I am still at my lowest weight. Haven't lost, but haven't gained either.