Rolls are cute on babies.

Who doesn't love a chubby baby?  Look, I don't want to see an unhealthy child by any means, but neck, wrist, ankle and belly rolls on babies are to die for.

Ugh, so fun.  Look how adorable that child is with the belly and all of the rolls?  Just priceless.  It's called baby fat, and I'm 100% positive that at my age (almost 29), you shouldn't have such rolls.  They're just not cute on anything but a baby (in my opinion) and I'm DEFINITELY not wearing bloomers and a bonnet to try to improve my appearance.

Earlier this week, I did something very brave:  I put my weight on this blog.  I am shocked, embarrassed, appalled, shocked again, sad, frustrated and mad at myself for letting such a big number take over my body.  There are about a million factors that can contribute to weight gain, and I will list some of the excuses I have personally used:

1. medicine
2. stress
3. socializing
4. rewarding oneself
5. laziness
6. emotional eating

The truth is that perhaps those did all apply to my weight gain.  Number 1 reason above all else though: control.  I did not control my eating, I did not control my exercise.  I am not a control freak, so maybe that's why it happened.  Some people- type A.  Megan- type Z.   I take medicine, I get stressed, I socialize, I reward myself and I can be lazy.  You know what though, so does/can everyone.  I have the ability to control almost all of these factors.  Let me explain one ridiculous scenario from my 2nd year of teaching.

Miss Kelly: Bob, I've noticed a change in your attitude lately.  What can I do to help?
Bob (7th grade douchebag): Nothing.
Miss Kelly: No Bob, I can tell something isn't working right, and I want to help.  Did I do something to offend you?  I can even tell your attitude has changed by the way you play.  The group notices it too.
Bob: <<Shrugs>>
Miss Kelly (over-eager-pushy-thinking-she-can-solve-the-situation-with-a-12-year-old): So really, there's nothing I can do?  I want to help.  Tell me, what can I do?
Bob: You can quit.
Miss Kelly's inner thoughts: @!#&*!@#($*&#*#$&*#($%
Miss Kelly: Well, Bob, that's not going to happen.  Okay, good bye.

So, I cried after Bob left the room, went home, took a bath, had wine, ate a bag of cheetos & a carton of ice cream, and I was fine the next day.  I think that's what you call emotional eating, yes?  Fortunately, I've gotten better with children, I think.  Ok, on to journaling...

Monday, July 25, 2011 (same weight as yesterday)

• cheerios with skim milk
• 1 diet coke
• elliptical/30 mins/320 calories
• 72 leg lifts
• 37 sit ups
• tuna macaroni salad
• saltines
• 1 diet coke
• tuna macaroni salad
• 1 TBS peanut butter
• 1 piece Godiva bar

Tuesday, July 26, 2011 (same weight as yesterday)

• panera tuna sandwich on multi-grain bread with cheddar cheese
• 1 diet pepsi
• peach
• elliptical/30 mins/300 calories
• saltines
• rotisserie chicken
• green beans with garlic, lemon juice, salt and pepper
• italian bread with borseau cheese and margarine
• 2 pieces Godiva bar

(not a great day: no breakfast, too much italian bread, not enough chicken, and had to cover up time on elliptical machine to finish work out, but hey, at least i finished the workout, right?)

Wednesday, July 27, 2011 (same weight as yesterday)

• cheerios with skim milk
• 1 diet coke
• elliptical machine/30 mins/340 calories
• Wawa package of white cheddar cheese, grapes and crackers (quick lunch on the way to work, not a bad calorie count)
• carrots
• 1 diet coke
• 4 nutter butters
• rotisserie chicken
• italian bread with margarine
• strawberries
• 1 piece Godiva bar

(much easier work out on machine today, had considerably more energy, still ate too much bread)

Thursday, July 28, 2011 (up 1 lb. from yesterday)

• work out with Shannon - elliptical/33 mins/357 calories)
• Wawa junior Italian hoagie (a junior is 4 inches)
• apple
• 1 diet coke
• pretzels
• 1 diet coke
• 1 piece Gouda cheese
• 2 TBS peanut butter
• croutons
• 1 whole Godiva mint choc. chip bar (230 calories, could have been worse, could have been better)

Worst night yet as far as eating.  I turned this evening into a graze-fest, and I am wanting any food I can find.  I actually stopped filling up my gas tank at Wawa @ $30 because I wanted to go in and get a bag of doritos.  I high-tailed it out of that parking lot fast!  I mean, I worked out, and I did a good job, but no breakfast, no real dinner, a whole chocolate bar?  Not cool Megan.  Still better than before, but not good.  Back on track.  To sum it all up, the above behavior creates rolls, and I'm a firm believer that rolls ARE cute.

Just not on Megan.  On babies.