Friday, July 15, 2011

"Oh, I'm not pregnant..."

(... and don't want to be.  At least not in 2011, 2012 & probably 2013.) 

Unfortunately, I have said, "I'm not pregnant" to people before.  Even worse, I've said it because they have asked the awful question to a woman who is not pregnant: "When are you due?"  It makes me SO angry, sad, frustrated, confused and really pissed off.  Now, it is true that I have a belly, and it's also true that when I stand with bad posture, I look terrible.  Doesn't everyone?  I've been getting told to stand up straight/not to slouch for like, 20 years now, by family, friends and even an old swim coach.  (Anna can tell you how mad I was about that, it was probably 15 years ago.)  You see, the excuse is that I have scoleosis.  The truth is that it doesn't affect my posture.  Everyone who's been telling me to stand up straight is right.  I look better when I do.

Back to the matter at hand.  It wasn't so bad to get asked by students if I was pregnant.  (This even happened when I was a size 8 and a size 10.)  All you have to do is touch your stomach and they think there's a baby in there.  I also stopped responding to them with "I'm not married."  That's because a couple students shot back at me, "Miss Kelly, you don't got to be married to have kids."  Alright then.

What makes me most upset is when an adult asks me.  Let alone someone who is not small.  I have been asked probably at least 10 times, and that is so embarrassing to admit.  Twice in winter coats (2 different coats, and really, I'm a puffball in coats), a couple times in outfits that have empire waists (I guess you could say I was asking for it, especially when slouching) and there was even a time when the same person asked me multiple times (I categorize that as someone being a dumbass).  I am actually going to write down some of the responses friends (other friends have been asked, and my heart goes out to them, it sucks) and I have come up with in our minds, although I haven't worked up the nerve to say it to someone's face yet.  I might be getting close though.
  • I'm not pregnant, are you?
  • I'm not pregnant, what is your excuse?
  • You do see that I have boobs, hips and an ass, right?
  • I have a glandular problem.
  • Have you ever heard of Emily Post?  You should check her out.
  • Uh, I knew I should have worn Spanx today.
  • the other responses I have thought about are SO bad, that I'm not writing them down for fear of karma, nor would I ever say them to someone.  Let's just say, they'd make someone feel like a huge POS.  Also, I'd never wish any of the above on someone.  I.e. glandular problems, other medical conditions.  I may be a biatch, but I'm not heartless.  
Now, on to the journal I have been keeping.
 Tuesday, July 12, 2011 (up 1 lb. from yesterday)
  • 1/3 chicken parm. breast (no pasta!!!)
  • 1 cup roasted red potatoes
  • 1 diet pepsi
  • banana
  • 1 mile walk with klobo
  • pretzels
  • salad w/croutons and peppercorn ranch
  • 2 small pieces red baron pizza (could fit on a salad plate, not like papa johns)
  • 1 diet coke
  • 1 piece godiva mint choco. chip bar
Wednesday, July 13, 2011 (same weight from yesterday)
  • 1 1/4 cup golden grahams
  • salad w/croutons and thousand island dressing
  • 1 diet coke
  • banana
  • 1 diet coke
  • 3 small slices of pizza (at home again, not delivery)
Thursday, July 14, 2011 (down 1 lb. from yesterday)
  • 1 1/4 cup golden grahams
  • 1 diet coke
  • chipotle chicken wrap with lettuce and little bit of mayo
  • 1 diet pepsi
  • pretzels
  • 3 small pieces of pizza
  • 1 cup strawberries with little bit of sugar on them

Well, I have not worked out the past couple days.  Hmm.  Got to work on that.  The excuse is that I've been working at PB, have had appointments, been running errands & cleaned the apartment a lot.  The truth is a line from Wedding Crashers: No excuses, play like a champion.

On a positive note, I am doing a decent job of not over-eating.  I am also sticking mostly to snacks I said I would, limiting soda and drinking tons of water, although I could up the water.  Even if I don't have 3 meals a day, I'm trying to base my day and snacks around at least 2 meals, which is a good thing.  A few other "to-dos" in the future...
  1. more protein
  2. more veggies
  3. must change cereal when finished this humungo box of golden grahams
  4. keep journaling (kinda proud i've kept it up for all of 10 days)
  5. WORK OUT.

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