This post has nothing to do with weight. Or dieting. It only slightly has to do with girl scout cookies.
I've been working with lots of my classes on Martin Luther King, Jr. songs. I've also been explaining some history to them, all classes, of all ages. I do this by picking a student who has an opposite skin tone of me, and I ask them to come to the front of the class.
me: Here, Bobby, hold your hand out for the class to see, next to mine. Kids, do we both have hands?
students: Yesme: Do our hands match? Are they the same color?
students: No.
me: But they're both hands, right?
students: Yes.
me: And we both have faces, but do they match?students: No.
Then I tell them to pretend Mrs. Campbell is a student in their class, and I want to have a friend. I want to be friends with Bobby. A long time ago, Bobby and Mrs. Campbell couldn't be friends. We wouldn't go to the same school, we couldn't play at recess together, we couldn't use the same water fountain, etc. Things were very unfair. (Usually at this point, the kids are really confused.) Then I explain that Dr. King did not find this life fair. A lot of people agreed with him, but he kind of "headed up" the project. He made things fair for us today.
me: Everyone look at your hands. Look closely. If you have a friend whose hand is different than yours, raise your hand. (All hands raise.) Aren't you glad you have that friend?
students: Yes.Basically, I'm sure a book or any adult could explain it better than I do, but the kids seem to get it (kinda) and then we go on to sing.
Here comes the controversial part. Is transgender/transexual the new black?
Yikes, I can't even believe I just typed that.
Still shocked I typed those words. I am so not into discussing politics or religion with people bc many people can't handle it, and I don't care enough. Why would I write this then? I don't know. I'm avoiding a workout. Seems I will do ANYTHING to avoid a workout.
There's this video on youtube that's kinda going viral. It's a girl scout asking people to ban buying girl scout cookies because some troops had let in transgender kids. Oh. my. gosh. That is heavy. This kid is in high school and thinking about/dealing with this issue. It is safe to say I was not thinking about such heavy stuff in high school. In fact, I was afraid of lesbians in high school, bc I saw some at my job and they just always looked so TOUGH. I was literally scared. Now, I love them. I mean, all gays. It's cool, straight, gay, whatever you are, it's ok with me. Many girls will tell you there is nothing more fabulous than a gay man. It's so true. How do they get fashion so well? I love it. Tim Gunn... HELLO. Ellen, she's amazing.
But the thing is... Tim is still a man, and Ellen is still a woman. They're not regularly dressing up as the opposite sex, and I guess I'm used to that, the way they behave. Sure, Ellen wears clothes that look somewhat unisex, but it's very clear she's female. I'm not so used to transgender people. (Forgive me if I'm not using the correct PC terms, I mean no offense.) I don't even love it when a little boy in school has really long hair that looks like a girl hair. My students wear uniforms, and I personally like knowing who's who. Selfish, but true. I want to separate boys and girls for games sometimes and not question if someone is on the right side. I'm a big fan of gender-based haircuts for young kids. For adults, it doesn't matter to me. You're an adult, do whatever you want.
So in a girl scout troop... we're talking about minors here. Is it ok to let a boy dress and act as a girl and let him in the troop? I really don't know. It's blowing my mind. It seems kind of odd to be honest with you. But then I feel guilty for thinking that. I mean, that new kid and all the other girl scouts, they're all kids, right? Just like I said to my class... they both have hands, but they don't match. But the thing is, it's a GIRL scout troop. Hmm.
Guilt. Is my line of thinking equivalent to several generations ago, where whites and black were separated, mostly due to lack of understanding? Am I being old fashioned that I think it's weird to let in a transgender boy into a girl scout troop? Am I being sexist? I don't even know what word to call myself. Or am I just not understanding?
I can't relate to a transgender person or a transsexual person. I can't relate to a black person. I can listen, and try to understand, but I'm not them. I'm a WASP. And about 10 years ago, in a casual conversation with an older friend (he is about 40), he asked me to score myself on the Kinsey Scale.
http://www.kinseyinstitute.org/resources/ak-hhscale.html
I'm clearly very on the heterosexual side. I can find girls attractive, in that "Oh, she looks pretty" kind of way. I don't have gay tendencies though. They're just not there. If there was a Kinsey scale for being black/white, I'm on the white side. I definitely can't dance. ;)
Basically, I just wanted to get all of these thoughts out. They have consumed my head for the last hour and a half. Now I'll go do some kickboxing.
Since you typed you can't dance so that would be a part of the Kinsey test...Then are you Asian since you kickbox?...I am sorry I just had to point that out. Not trying to be controversial with you. It just popped in my head as well and I had to type that.
ReplyDeleteKickboxing sounds like a great way to put in some exercise to your diet plan. And then you can walk in LA because supposedly according to The Missing Persons in 1982, "Nobody Walks In LA" . LOLOL
I personally am easy going and get along. I have a hard time with the fact that the rainbow used to just be a rainbow and then the Rainbow People (kind of like hippy stoner wanderers who panhandle alot and do crafts) took it...then the Gays took it. Just as much as I have a hard time for the Crip Gang taking away the paisley blue bandanas...and who know's what other color bandana I would like wear.
And although I am all for Gay Rights...ERA still is not National and still 15 States have not ratified it. After all theses years...still not National.
Have a great weekend.
Thank you for this post! These are important conversations to have. If we get too hung up on what's PC, then fewer people will be comfortable speaking up and issues will remain unaddressed.
ReplyDeleteClearly your thoughts and hesitation come from a good place -- wanting to be accepting of all and set a good example for your students. I feel it's okay to admit our own misgivings. Generations past felt uncomfortable and couldn't relate to interracial relationships, and look how far we've come. Our generation is making strides against homophobia, and someday transgendered people will be met with less discrimination than they face today.
As an educator, you have a very important role and a huge opportunity to impact the future. As your MLK Day classroom exercise shows, children aren't racially discriminatory by nature and can be nurtured to be respectful and accepting. At the same time, I think there's a human tendency to fear what's different from us. I'm guessing sometimes young students need to be taught and shown by example that their mentally/physically disabled classmates deserve the same respect and friendship that other kids enjoy? They sense something is different, but don't know what to do with those feelings. We teach them right vs. wrong and not to bully, tease, or isolate those that are different from them, and the same should be taught about transgendered children.
If we accept that a child does not choose their gender identity, then we should expand the definitions of gender and teach children to accept all its expressions. For sure, the clothing or hairstyles of one child do no harm to another. If as adults it seems odd to us, that's okay. We have to be honest with ourselves, but lead by example. If you feel guilt for these uncomfortable feelings, go with your GUT. If it just doesn't feel right to judge a child for their gender expression, that's because it's not. Our feelings and reactions are a symptom of our culture--there's a general lack of understanding, exposure, and acceptance of transgendered people. But our words and actions, not our thoughts, make the biggest impact and that's what we should measure ourselves by. Positive words and actions will influence positive thoughts in others.
What's unsettling to me about this teenager's viral video against the Girl Scouts is that she had an instinct to fear those who are different, but not the guidance of adult role models to deal with those feelings with love and understanding. Instead she chose to channel the energy and conviction of her youth in support of a cause of hatred and discrimination. If you had a transgendered child, this video would break your heart. Sixty years ago, this would have been about keeping black children out of all-white groups. Today we have no doubts that racial discrimination is wrong. We need to speak up now, despite doubts or mixed feelings, for what we know is right: That a person should not be treated unfairly (by their peers, schools, governments, or religions) because of an identity that is not their choice.
Kudos to the Girl Scouts of Colorado for their response: "If a child identifies as a girl and the child's family presents her as a girl, Girl Scouts of Colorado welcomes her as a Girl Scout." What Girl Scouts have in common are activities that are generally more appealing to girls than boys. Why should a boy be forced to join the Boy Scouts if he'd rather craft, bake, or sew than build a boxcar? Honestly, the Boy Scouts aren't likely to accept this child either. Just because children don't yet have the tools needed to understand and relate to a little boy who identifies as a girl, doesn't mean we have any less obligation to provide them with those tools, teach tolerance, and lead by example.