Unrecognizable

There are about a zillion tricks to losing weight and/or getting in shape.

Jenny Craig, running, cardio, Atkins, no sugar, no meat, no dairy, cut out soda, pilates, yoga, Weight Watchers, portion control, Nutrisystem, kickboxing, martial arts, strength training, eat 6 small meals a day, eat 3 square meals a day, only eat when you're hungry, eat all day long to boost your matabolism, drink water like it's going out of style, only eat at the kitchen table, couch to 5K, Zumba, slimfast, eat with your weak hand, no snacking... the list goes on.

Sidenote: My cooperating teacher from student teaching lost 40 lbs. from switching from Mountain Dew to Diet Mountain Dew. Seriously, I watched it happen. Jerk. I switched to diet coke... didn't do jack shit.

I'm feeling pretty vulnerable. I haven't lost any weight. I'm so embarrassed, but I am having trouble motivating myself to actually GO to the gym. I have been doing videos on on demand though... I've been doing pilates, yoga and kickboxing/martial arts. It's kind of fun to switch it up, and I love the peace and quiet of doing it at home after school. A goal of mine is to be able to put my palms flat on the floor like Casey. She's got like 4 inches on me and still wowed me over the summer with that move.

I titled this "unrecognizable" because sometimes that's how I feel I look to people who knew me in college or high school. I met with a high school friend last week to talk about the recent loss of a high school classmate/friend, and it was wonderful to talk with her, although such a terrible reason to meet. It's amazing how much I think we have in common, even ten years after living in the same neighborhood. Try to follow... she and I literally ran into each other about a year ago at a Caps game. In true awkward Megan form, I thanked her for recognizing me. Seriously, out loud. Sure, I was in a huge jersey, and a hat and a scarf, but really, I thanked her because I was impressed she was able to recognize me. I'm so much bigger than I used to be. I was impressed that someone from high school could recognize Megan + 60 pounds. Actually, it's probably more than that, but I was a healthy size 10 at 160, so that seems like a nice goal.

Facebook is a wonderful tool. It's so nice to put up good pictures of yourself. Pretend that you don't have a double chin, or arm fat, or muffin top. Honestly though, there are so many people on FB who look like better versions of themselves. People I know from high school and college. Beautiful people, who look happy and healthy, not necessarily thin, but just beautiful. It's lovely to see. Sometimes in a self pity moment though, I wonder if someone clicks on my profile, would they recognize me? Would they go "Whoa, she filled out." On the flip side, sometimes I see a picture of someone who has lost a ton of weight, and I think, yikes. What's going on in their lives? Don't they know they're even more beautiful with some meat on their bones? I hope everything is ok with them.

Last year, one of my friends, Erica saw an old picture of me. I am 22 years old in the picture, and Mac and I were at our first wedding together. It's an awesome picture, and I still have it framed. The problem is though, Erica didn't recognize me. I think she was shocked I could look like that.

People who knew me before may be shocked at how big I am now. People who know me now are shocked I used to be so much smaller. The people who've known me for the duration... they are amazing, because they still talk to me like I'm normal Megan. That is very sweet of them. Now I'm going to post some pictures for you to see the difference. And for myself. Sometimes, even with recent pictures, if I am angled a certain way, I feel like I don't even recognize myself. That's most certainly not cool.





Well, the blog won't let me put more pictures on. I'll continue to do so though in future blogs. (p.s. in above pics, I was 22, size 8 then 23, size 10 respectively.) I'll also try to actually GO to the gym. I've been doing really well with the food groups things, and have been limiting myself with snacking, so that's good. I'll just keep trying, and hopefully, I'll find myself recognizable again. That would be an awesome 30th birthday present to myself.