Public failure, or human nature?

A while ago, when I inadvertently stopped writing this blog, several people asked me about it. God bless them. I hope if I stop again (hopefully not the case) that they all ask me again, and louder. I'm the type of person that likes encouragement. Needy and embarrassing, but true. I need it from my husband, my family and my friends. And when I stopped writing back in early fall, Mac told me I would be a public failure. That's what I'm talking about.

I posted this blog on facebook because I wanted to be honest about all of this losing weight business, and it's helpful to write it all out. And I know by posting it online, it became public, but I am human too, so I stopped. I stopped because school got in the way. Work got in the way. I started baking like a maniac for the holidays, and I can make appetizers, snacks and desserts that will blow your socks off and clog your arteries. I stopped because it was sweater season, and I LOVE sweaters. Why not just be puffy underneath the puffy sweater? I stopped because I would come home from work, put on fat pants, a fleece and uggs and sit on the couch. That felt nice. Really though, I stopped because I was/am lazy.

My schedule in early-mid fall was insane. School everyday, and I leave before 7:00 am, not because I'm a morning person, but because my schools start early. I get out by 3:00 usually, and on Tuesdays and Wednesdays I teach private lessons. I get home around 8:00 on Tuesdays and 6:30 on Wednesdays. I also worked at Pottery Barn (no longer, although I miss a lot about it, most importantly the people), and I worked there 3 or 4 days a week. I went to PB after school and would get home anywhere from 9:00 - 10:00.

I know everyone works really hard. However, while I am better when I am busy, that schedule was too much for me. I felt like I had no down time. I missed friends, I didn't plan meals, I definitely didn't work out, and I missed Mac. I didn't sleep the way I should, and instead of packing reasonable and thought-out lunches, I would stop at 7-11 on the way to school and pick up a frozen lunch and a whole bunch of snacks to get me through the day. I think when you're overweight, you feel like the only thing that gives you energy is food. It's like when I used to swim when I was younger, and you would want an Airhead or something before a race... you'd get all jacked up and then crash afterwards. I was essentially doing that. Over and over again. Food was comfort and fuel.

Also, I was raised better. My parents have so much food in the house, at all times. We don't just do meals, we do every mother-loving snack in the world before and afterwards too. Mac practically cries every time we leave their house because he is literally uncomfortably full. Has been for the whole visit. (He doesn't come from a snacking family.) The Kellys snack, but they don't do fast food. No 7-11, no Wawa just for chips and a soda. Get stuff at the grocery store and work with what you've got. (Although if I had a dime for every time my dad went to the grocery store for HK's, I'd be rich.) We always ate meals, and they always have several food groups in them. Meat, veggies, bread. Fruit is always in the house. Dairy is there too. I should probably revisit the food groups. I am a fan of the pyramid. Learned it in elementary school, and I think it should still work today, no?

So, every year I make the same resolutions... spend less money, work out, be a better person... blah blah blah. I guess they're the same this year. Although, I think I'm going to try to hit all categories of the food pyramid each day. That actually seems quite attainable, and I didn't really think of it until writing this blog. See Megan- HELPFUL TO BLOG. Three meals a day, hit all five categories of the food group. There are 5, right?



Ok, there are 6. But I should try to hit the main 5. I've been eating enough of that top one for damn near 3 months now. Good luck, Megan.