I turned 30.

Well it happened. I turned 30. I'm not thin, so there goes the title of this blog. I have lost about 25 pounds though, and I guess that's saying something. I was on vacation and since my mind is still on vacation, I'm going to do a random pros and cons list post.

PROS:
* I didn't cry when I turned 30.
* I got to spend the day with family, the way I wanted, on the boat.
* Ashley's bf Andrew, told me I looked "pretty" on my birthday. I hugged him. Mac couldn't come down, so to hear that from a guy, well it was so sweet. :)
* I have lost about 25 pounds and at times, feel very proud of that.
* I went to Maine for the first time, with my family.
* Oh my gosh, go to Maine. It's beautiful.
* I saw so many lighthouses and climbed one of them.
* I ate so much seafood it's stupid.
* The seafood was amazing.
* Whole lobster, clams, crab melt, crab rangoon DIP, lobster mac and cheese, lobster rolls, coconut shrimp, scallops, clam chowder, etc.
* My clothes are fitting better.
* I could wear my white capris and they weren't tight. Tight white = not good.
* I wore a khaki skirt I haven't been able to wear in two years.
* When I came back, my weight was 199.9 pounds.
* That means I only gained ONE POUND. (Trust me, that is a miracle.)
* I also didn't cross back over into the 200s, which I was REALLY scared about.
* My weigh in yesterday was euphoric because of that.
* I drank a lot of wine and local beer.
* I ate french fries for the first time in a while, and they were amazing.
* We did a bit of walking in Maine.
* Gaining one pound for eating out morning, noon and night is pretty awesome.
* At times, I feel like continuing this blog.
* I can't wear my jeans for more than one day. They get too big.
* I didn't hold back with eating.
* I am excited to be back on track. Kind of. :)
* I am humbled by the fact that I was/am too heavy. I am glad I have experienced it.

CONS:
* I am not thin.
* I started this public blog to help motivate myself to get thin.
* I'm a little embarrassed that I'm not thin.
* I dislike so many pictures from vacation because I see someone who is still too heavy. That is a shame, because the pictures are really very beautiful.
* I HATE that I think that about pictures. I love pictures.
* I think one of my boobs is the size of my face. That needs to change immediately.
* I had to get into a program to be successful. I couldn't do it on my own.
* There are people who had babies, and at the peak of the pregnancy didn't weigh as much as I do. Or did.
* How can I continue this blog if I'm already 30? Thin by 31? Thin during 30? Fit by 40??!?!
* I think about food a lot. Like, when we were walking around in Maine... sometimes I'd be thinking about/looking forward to the next feeding time if I was hungry.
* I feel like as a heavy person, I shouldn't be thinking about food. Like, I shouldn't be hungry. I ought to have enough stored away.
* I wonder if people look at me eating, wondering why I am eating.
* That's insane.
* My trip back to MD was hell. I stopped at McDonalds and got fries & a diet coke.

And here are some pictures. I think you'll see what I mean by some of them. Some, I love. Some, I wish I was smaller. Thank you for reading my rambles. And, if you care to share, what's your opinion of me continuing the blog?