Pass Megan Sweets

Or Pass Megan Salt. Or Pass Megan Sugar.

See what I did there? It's time to do the post on why women's weight can be different than men's. Starting with a monthly timeline and the horrors of PMS.

For my research, I went to the "ever-reliable" WebMD.

Premenstrual Syndrome physical symptoms include: breast swelling and tenderness, bloating, weight gain, water retention, changes in bowel habits (I can't believe I just typed that), acne, nipple discharge, food cravings, especially sweet or salty foods, sleep pattern changes, fatigue, lack of energy, decreased sexual desire and lastly, pain, including headaches, cramps, leg pains and lower back pains.

Clearly, I've highlighted the parts that have to do with weight gain. Um, take a look at those horrible symptoms again. Those are AWFUL. Do I believe PMS to be a myth or a fact? Fact, all the way. In fact, I bet you anything most women will tell you they suffer from at least 2 of those symptoms. Me? I don't suffer from all of them, but I can vouch for several being true.

Premenstrual Syndrome behavioral symptoms include: aggression and withdrawal from family and friends.

T for true. Not intentional, but it can happen.

Premenstrual Syndrome emotional and cognitive symptoms include: depression, sadness, hopelessness, anger, irritability, anxiety, mood swings, decreased alertness and the inability to concentrate.

Alrighty. T for true for this too, kind of. Good to know I can blame my ADD on PMS as well. That will be a new excuse I throw into the mix.

Have you seriously gotten this far? Do you honestly wonder why women eat so much and gain weight during pms?! Seriously, I should be drunk during that time as well! It's miserable!

Um, then let's follow all of this up with the period. For the love of God. Not even going there, but let's just say parts of that can be terrible as well.

No wonder men supposedly lose weight more easily with women. They don't have a monthly battle to deal with. Well, technically, Mac does. It's me. :)

Anyways... moving on to the points of this blog. Let's outline what a month can look like for Megan.

Week 1: Man it's a beautiful day outside! I'm doing a good job with my weight loss. Traffic? Who cares? I love everyone and everything! Life is great!

Week 2: More of the same.

Week 3: This weather sucks. All weather sucks. I suck and you suck. My weight loss sucks. This bowling ball in my stomach sucks. Traffic sucks. I hate everything, especially Hallmark commercials that make me cry hysterically. Why did I gain weight this week? Oh, because I ate everything. Will did I yell at Mac? I can't remember. Must be the ADD.

Week 4: More of the same, but a little more mellow. Weight loss still not good.

Week 5/Week 1: Repeat everything, and all that "water weight" goes away, like it's some sort of blessed miracle.

Ultimately, if I was to eat perfectly, work out perfectly, and never misbehave, I still think that simply "being a woman" would affect my weight loss. Is everything I typed an excuse? Maybe in your opinion. But for me, it's true, and you know what? I'm banking on using these "excuses" till menopause. So, watch out. And around the third and fourth week of the month, don't call me fat.