a.d.d.

I'm so convinced I'm on the spectrum for add that it's all I can do to sit here and type this. Because really, there are about a zillion shiny objects staring at me right now, begging for attention. You should prepare yourself for a jerky roller coaster ride of a blog post. I also plan on arguing with and contradicting myself.

First, I chickened out last week for my weigh in. Totally called out. First time I've done that, and it was/is shameful. I knew I gained weight after eating food again, after being sick, and I didn't want to see the number. I also didn't want to drive to Rockville and spend one full hour driving the ten or fifteen miles home. Forget about the actual candidates; if someone out there can solve the traffic problems on the beltway, I'm voting for them. You can fix 495? You can probably fix anything.

So I went today and basically put it all back on. This is real life people.

I have been battling with wanting to eat the food. I'm tired of a lot of the food even though it's good. So I went in today and only got dinners. I have done well for breakfasts and lunches; it's my dinners and snacking that's the problem. Then I get mad at myself, because if I would just bite the bullet, eat the food, I'll lose the weight and be happy. FALSE. I do not need to treat this like ripping off a band aid. So, just dinners from JC from now on. 2 meals on my own. Let's see how this goes. Slow and steady wins the race. Yada yada bleeping yada.

I thought about joining Weight Watchers. I figure, I lost 20 with JC, maybe I lose 20 with WW. What is my deal. For now, I'm not. And no, I would not do both programs at the same time.

I thought about doing the Couch to 5K program. If you don't know what it is, look it up online. It's a pretty cool program, where someone who's a couch potato (I wouldn't completely call myself that though) can get up, follow a program, and get to running a 5K in two months. It's a very neat and interesting outline, and honestly, it sounds nice. We'll see. Meh.

Since this post was pretty worthless, I'll share some things that have surprised me and make me happy.

- I started wearing my winter coat, and it zips up really well without tugging on the bottom. Last year, it tugged on the hem of the coat.
- I am currently wearing dress pants I haven't worn in a year and a half.
- I wore a size 12 khaki blazer today and it wasn't tight across the back.
- I wore a sweater dress yesterday with a belt.
- Last year, when I wore that outfit, I took a big breath to sing with preK kids, and the belt came UNDONE. It doesn't have loops or anything, so it just slides in and out. STILL. Thank GOD it was only PreK and thank GOD the aide is super cool and just laughed with me.
- The belt did not pop yesterday.

Have a loverly weekend. I will try to return next week with more positive news and a lower number.