The scale.

Should fitting into clothes that you wore a year ago be considered a victory? Absofreakinglutely.

Tonight, I tried on a bunch of shorts, skirts and capris from the past couple years. Even though I’m trying to lose weight, I’m really grateful that they fit. It is a huge sense of relief to me that I can still button everything, and it has been ok’d by another person (Mac). Do you get excited when you pull out something you haven’t worn in a while and it still fits, or even better, if it’s loose? I do. And yes, if something doesn’t fit, I get frustrated. I’ll admit to having several items of clothing in my closet that I’d like to fit back into. All in due time. Hopefully.

I’ve been thinking about the scale lately. If the scale and I were in a relationship, we’d need serious counseling. I feel like it lets me down, pumps me up, deceives me, lies to me, and changes on me with its passive-aggressive self. Truthfully though, it’s me. And that’s ok. At this point, I probably should be lower on the scale. But I've been enjoying food and/or drinks too much. I'm not down on myself, I'm just telling it like it is. If I want to lose weight faster, I'm going to have to change some things.



A lot of people don’t even own, or use scales. They judge their health by how they feel, how they look or how their clothes fit. That is perfectly fine. Me, I need the number. I need to see progress, because if it’s day 2 of wearing jeans, well you know I feel good. If it’s day 1 and they’re fresh-out-of-the-dryer, you know I’m doing squats in the bedroom before going out. I need the number. If it has gone up, I need to see that and reel myself in a little bit. Call me crazy, but if the scale says I’m 2 pounds lighter, I’ll usually feel 2 pounds lighter. I also double-check with the scale at the gym. Sometimes I weigh myself at night, just to see how much weight I can lose as I sleep. That is so weird, I know.

I also like the scale, because I equate the number with what I look like and how I feel. When I weighed 160, I was a size ten, and I felt good. By the end of July (bday time), I'd LOVE to be 170. I'll be really happy with myself if I get lower than 190. These numbers are completely DOABLE, if I truly put my mind to it. I bet some people think anything over 120 seems big, but just to give you an idea, when I was in college, I sometimes wore a size 6, and I weighed 140. Never felt like that was a large number. It's the height thing, I guess it plays in.

I won’t lie, this week has been tough. Spring break started(WOOOOOOOOOOHOOOOOOOOO) and I love to celebrate anything, so this = major celebration. And no, sadly, I don’t celebrate by going on the elliptical. I crack open a beer. I will say that up until the past few days, I’ve felt a decent change in my overall attitude. I’ve been somewhat perkier, a little happier and generally, more pleasant. I guess you could say I’m happier with myself. The past few days are an exception to how this month has been, and the past few days have been a little rough. I’m extremely anxious about a bunch of things, work, taxes, money, weight loss, but I’m going to focus this blog on the last month. Because these few days of anxiety are nothing compared to the goodness I’ve felt most of March.



I’m happy I’ve worked so much at the gym. I’m happy the elliptical is now at a level 8 for me, and the bike is at a level 6. I started at 7 and 4, respectively. I’m happy that my legs feel stronger, and sometimes they’re tired. I’m happy that my belly feels smaller. I’m REALLY happy with my new haircut. (Nothing to do with weightloss, but man, a good haircut can do wonders.)

I realize that the bike is not easy, just because you’re sitting down. I truly thought it would be easy the first time I got on it. I was wrong, oh SO wrong.
I realize that the harder I work out, the happier I am. I realize that when I shortened my stretching post-work out, I lost some flexibility. I realize that I can no longer go out in public after the gym, because the kind of sweating I do is almost similar to that of an animal. I realize that stretching after working out is SO important. I realize that I am a seasonal eater, and I should go with that. For example, I love tomato, mozzarella and basil with balsamic vinaigrette, so I’ve been eating a lot of that, and will probably start to eat more salads since it’s getting warmer out. I don’t like eating cold things when it’s cold out, and I don’t like eating hot things when it’s hot out. I realize that if I have something in the house, I’ll eat it. Allow me to share a defensive example:

• Last Friday, I was in a baking mood.
• I had all the ingredients for chocolate chip cookies.
• I LOVE chocolate chip cookies.
• If I make them, I’ll eat them. It’s just that simple.
• I had all the ingredients for banana bread.
• I’d never made banana bread.
• I don’t like banana bread.
• I made banana bread. 2 loaves.
• Halfway through the baking, I realized I could have included chocolate chips, and threw some in on TOP of one of the loaves.
• That just ended up looking silly at the end.
• I realized it was good I hadn’t started with the chocolate chips in the banana bread, because I would have fought my way through the banana bread to get to the chocolate.
• I took one loaf to Ilana, Jason and their new baby, Felicity.
• Mac ate the other.
• Overall, success.

One last thought. I’ve considered doing a weekly picture for myself, but posting a monthly one on the blog. A visual progression. I’ve heard pros and cons on doing this. Thoughts? Cares? Concerns? If you've tried this, has it worked for you?