aisle 15: cookies.

I just ate 10 Tagalongs. Uhhhhhhhhhhhh. The truth though, I only feel kind of guilty. I feel like I’ve done well, but obviously if the scale goes up tomorrow, it will be my fault. I have pretty much met my work out quota for this week, and I’ve already done and undone damage.
On Tuesday, I had amazing Mexican food and THREE margaritas. That’s right, three. Students have the ability to make teachers desire lots of tequila. On the upside, Mary and I did not finish the queso, and I didn’t finish my quesadillas. I even sent the remaining quesadillas home with Mary. The next day, the scale said I put all five lbs. back on that I had lost. I went into overdrive.
I drank tons of water, because I really felt like it was the salt showing up on the scale. (Thanks to Jody for the amazing tip of “drink water bc you feel bloated bc you have a ton of salt in your body bc you ate a bag of popcorn for dinner last night during my first year of teaching.”) I ate well, and went to the gym. Within two days, I was back down to a 5 lbs. lighter Megan. Success.
Then, today. Gahhhhhh. I’m taking advantage and pushing the limits. I am so excited that the scale still says 215 (that still saddens me to type such a number), because last night I went out with two other good friends, Marys (the week of Mary!) and had grilled salmon, green beans, mashed potatoes and 3 glasses of white wine. I came home last night and had a small bowl of low fat ice cream. Seriously, I am lucky I didn’t gain weight. But, I worked out yesterday before even going out!
So, if I’m so lucky, why did I push the limit with the tagalongs? Why did I buy them? (It was impulse, and it’s hard to say no to girl scouts standing outside on a cold and blustery day.) The good thing, is right now, I have no desire to eat the thin mints. I’m full. I’m sleepy. I need to go to the gym tomorrow. I probably consumed almost 2000 calories today between baby shower food and the tagalongs. If you feel like yelling at me, I understand. But quite frankly, I don’t want to hear it. I know, immature of me. I know what is right and I know what is wrong. Today, I do not want to hear any reminders about what is right and what is wrong.
I was talking with one of my best friends Mary last night about lots of things. You know how people can complain about their families or friends, but when someone else does, it’s not cool? I do that sometimes. If Ashley and I have a spat (read: SISTERLY LOVE), I can talk about it, and we can each complain about each other, but pretty much every single one of my friends knows that they can’t say boo about her. It’s just not cool.
The same thing applies for this whole blog thing right now. I can talk poorly about myself, or talk about how I do well, or don’t do well, but I don’t want to hear it from anyone else. Not right now at least. I’m stubborn, and I don’t want to be lectured. I don’t want tough love. It comes across as judgment sometimes. I know this sounds really, really childish of me, but I can’t help it. I practically beg for comments/pats on the back and talk about all of this weight loss schmeight loss with friends and family, but I don’t want to hear criticism. (I know, hypocritical.) I don’t even want advice. Again, not right now. I like suggestions. I like ideas. I like hearing what works or hasn’t worked for other people. But if somebody was to question my third glass of wine Friday night while I was drinking it, I probably would have bitch slapped them.
Goals for this coming week include:
· Work out at least four times for sixty minutes each time.
· Eat lean cuisines or light progresso soup for every lunch.
· Have a salad every night for dinner.
· Add some sort of protein to every dinner, possibly turkey sandwich.
· Up the water intake.
· Eat more vegetables.
· Remind myself that this past week, I wasn’t hungry very often, and I ate well, and I worked out and ENJOYED IT.
· Do not starve yourself.
· Eat less.
· Eat better.
· Move more.
· Those last 3 things are key. Keep repeating them.
· Picture yourself on your 30th bday. You have the opportunity to look decent while guzzling cocktails and pretending you know everything. Don’t muck it up.