Buoy.

I joined a gym, got a new bathing suit (because tankinis don't really cut it in the lap lane), a cap, goggles, a lock for the locker and went swimming. It was so much fun. I didn't look at a clock (because I can't see w/o contacts and couldn't even find a kickboard three feet away from me, causing the life guard to probably question my ability to function as a human), and I didn't count laps. I've never counted laps unless I had to. It's just swimming. I was surprised at a few things though.

First, speedos could be a substitute for spanx in an emergency. Aside from the HOT uniboob they create, those things SUCK YOU IN. Second, I looked so ridiculous it's stupid. The cap and mirrored goggles just aren't my color. Third, I go a lot slower than I used to. I felt like an 85 year old reminiscing about some high school football victory in my head. Fourth, the flip turns were ROUGH. And lastly, I felt like a buoy.



No seriously, I felt like my rear end kept bobbing out of the water. It was disturbing. Good news though people: I won't sink.

I have always been really comfortable in water. It's just so relaxing, and there's no sudden movements that would cause me to trip. The biggest problem I had today was remembering how painful it is when you kick the lane line. Not cool man. I suppose I feel about swimming the way many people feel about running. You're doing a marathon? That's AMAZING. I will buy you a beer and congratulate you, because I run for nothing. I could however do a treadathon. Just feed me grapes at the side of the pool while I kick my legs in a circular motion. (Thanks, Mom!)

I think I swam for about 45 minutes. As previously mentioned, I didn't count the laps. I don't know the calories either. All I know is that it felt good, I feel loosened up, and I am wearing the best perfume there is: chlorine. Ahhhh.