Saturday, February 23, 2013

When boys should be quiet.

Oh, this is a touchy post to write. I actually asked Mac's permission to write it, since he is a big part of it, and I want to respect him. Usually if I do a post about someone else, I'll ask their permission. It just seems appropriate.

Speaking of appropriate, if you read this, consider it a lesson of what NOT TO SAY to a female.

Last Saturday, Mac and I were at the mall, exchanging a few items. I went into VS to replace a bra, and while I was in there, I decided to look for some skivvies. (I'm totally blushing as I write this.) Well, VS is a great place for people of all sizes on top. Everything from a 32AA to a 40DDD they seem to have. The bottom half of a female... not so much. Not to mention... I've taken a pole. 5/5 women say VS's underwear runs small. Ok, no big deal. Go a size up. Except they basically stop at a large for the bottom. Basically, they're saying that you can be Dolly Parton. Um, most people aren't shaped like that. And I was already a little frustrated, as I kept seeing thongs that were "one size fits all." Seriously? I don't buy that, for ONE SECOND. Scarves can be one size fits all. Not thongs.

So I go meet Mac as he's coming out of Gamestop, where he was trading games in. I tell him about this, and say that it's just a little frustrating for me, because I actually think I'm somewhat proportioned. Not desirable proportions, but they're kind of even. Well, Mac, being the helpful husband that he is, decided to be, um, helpful.

Mac: Why don't you try shopping at like, Lane Bryant or something?

Megan; Jaw drops.

**Uncomfortable silence, but Mac doesn't know it's uncomfortable.**

Megan: Um, no. I don't really think I need to shop there. That's a store for bigger women, and I'm not quite there, I don't think.

Mac: Oh, look, I just think their models are really hot.

Megan: Then why do you have a Sports Illustrated Swimsuit calendar hanging in the laundry room instead of a Lane Bryant catalog?

Mac: They're just meatier, and that's sexy!

Megan: Mac, those models are a size 8, that's considered a plus size model, which is bs. Again, I do not think I need to shop there. VS should have a bottom that can "match" the top.

Mac: Well, where does Kim Kardashian shop for underwear?

**I am thinking where the @!@#%#@%#@$^#$% are you going with this?**

Megan: Excuse me? (Mac is petrified of these two words, he knows it means trouble.)

Mac: Well, she has a sizely ass, so where does she get her underwear?

Megan: Please do not compare me to Kim Kardashian. Her curves from the front are good, but she's not proportionate.

Mac: Well, isn't she like a super model?

Megan: Um, no. She is trashy.

Mac: Oh, well can I say Jlo?

Megan: Yes, JLo and Beyonce are always acceptable.

The rest is a little bit of a blur. We left the mall, where may I remind you that I did NOT create a scene, and went home. I was pretty quiet, which men should know... women are always scariest when they're quiet. Quiet is NOT GOOD. Naturally, to beat a dead horse, I had to try to explain to Mac how he unknowingly insulted me. He just didn't understand, and kept thinking that Lane Bryant is comparable to Casual Male Big and Tall. Allow me to tell you, it is not. I wasn't necessarily mad at him, I was just kind of shocked. Again, unknowingly, he didn't realize the damage he'd done.

I've since told other females about this, and fortunately, most of them backed me up with their reactions. I don't think they were lying just to make me feel good either. They were genuinely shocked that a) Mac suggested this, b) I didn't strike him and c) I didn't run away crying.

Of course, there is nothing wrong with shopping at Lane Bryant. They have lots of clothes, and allow women who have fuller figures to dress professionally. Their models are gorgeous. Nothing wrong with the store, at ALL. I just do not want to shop there, and it is a very, very personal opinion. The biggest problem I have with this whole situation, is that Mac didn't just suggest I go up a size, he suggested I go up a STORE. And trust me, boys: Girls never want to go up a size. Even a girl who's a size 2 may not want to buy a size 4. So, please don't even suggest going up a size. We don't want to hear that nonsense.

I feel like if I went to Lane Bryant it would be admitting defeat. It would be me giving up on the clothes in my closet, the clothes from my favorite stores (Gap, Banana, Loft and Target), and I'd be giving IN to buying bigger clothes. I am technically not a big boned person. I'm not tall. I'm just overweight. While that's bad, it hasn't stopped me from shopping at my favorite stores. And I don't want to give up on my favorite stores, or the sizes I'd like to be.

** I proofread this aloud to Mac, as he's afraid of how his character will look. He interrupted a couple of times, defending himself. I told him to please be quiet. Men: Should you find yourself in such a situation, please be quiet.

** My weight was the same on Friday, but when I went to weigh in with the school nurse for our biggest loser competition, she told me I had lost a pound and a half. Alrighty then.

** My sincerest apologies if I have offended anyone with this post. It was hard for me to write, as it's such a touchy subject. All of the statements in it are my opinions, not judgments.

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