Trouble Spots

I guess I was lucky. When I gained all my weight initially, the weight went on evenly. Every part of me got bigger. Maybe that's one of the reasons I felt that it crept up on me. It wasn't just one area. Of course certain areas didn't get bigger until the peak of my weight gain, but still, they eventually came. Two things that people have said to me stick out in my mind.

#1: A friend asked me why, in pictures, I wasn't smiling as big. I didn't understand it. I looked at pictures to see what she was talking about, and my heart sank when I realized what she meant. My smile was the same size as it had always been, and I like my smile. However, because my face had puffed out some, my smile looked smaller. My cheeks, jaw and neck made me look like I wasn't as happy.

#2: One of my friends gained a bunch of weight during her first year of work. While I didn't realize it as much, because she has a pretty small frame, she gained about 20 - 25 lbs. I think. She was the one who complimented me for carrying my weight gain so well, and she was envious that I gained it evenly. She, on the other hand, only gained it in her stomach. No different anywhere else in her body. This type of weight gain could make her look disproportional. Or anyone for that matter.

Look, these are both dear friends who spoke honestly to me, and that is one of the many reasons I love them. I never thought about my smile changing, and I can't wait for my face to un-puff itself. I never thought about how I had gained weight evenly. I guess I was lucky. I am and look overweight, but I am quite proportioned.

Now, for the losing weight. I lost 1.1 pounds since last Wednesday. Not bad, I will take it. I'm just looking to get at least one pound down each week. Totally healthy and totally rewarding to see a new number on the scale. I actually glared at the scale today, before I got on it, hoping to see 204 somewhere on it. (In my mind, it's like I'm a character in a sitcom. The scale is the enemy, of course.) Next week, I'm hoping to see 203 or 202. Etc.

Anyways, to the trouble spots, the title. Everyone's got their trouble spots, so do I. Just like I gained weight evenly, I'm losing it evenly. But I'm not looking at many parts of my body. I'm looking at what appears to be some sort of a spare tire, and it has nothing to do with my car. This spare tire doesn't cost $150 - $200, but it has been bought and paid for. This spare tire doesn't even look even. It looks bigger on the left side. (How is that even possible?!) It's getting smaller, but so are other parts of my body. I'm bad though, I just keep staring at this one spot. I'm not thinking about my hips, or my legs, my rear, my chest or my face right now. I'm looking at what I think is my biggest trouble spot.

I don't think my stomach will go away with crunches. Exercise, sure. But it's going to take significant weight loss to see the desired result I'm after. Is my muffin top getting smaller? Yes. Do I still have a stomach? Yes. Am I a little too fixated on my stomach? Maybe. It's my trouble spot right now. It's the number one reason I dislike pictures. After that, just throw in my whole upper body. I feel like I look fleshy. I don't want to be fleshy. I don't want to be husky. I want to look more feminine, and I feel like losing weight is helping me accomplish that.